Kornik Kebmyn Simpleheys (v1.0 beta)

(aka KK+++, An Tung Kornik, 21C-Kornik, etc.)

One of Dr. Ken George's guiding principles in devising KK was to make it so easy to learn that even the mental incompetents (whom, we're told, make up the bulk of those wishing to study Kornish) could manage the task, without even switching their brains on. We applaud this 'Lowest Kommon Denominator' approach to language improvement, but feel it should be taken much further than it has been hitherto, so as not to exclude even the most inept, idle and brain-damaged of learners.

Henceforth, KK+++ will be the only form of Kornish supported by Bord an Tung Kornik, its sister organisation Association an Tung Kornik, and its published organ An Messenger (the ci-devant 'Cannas'). Moreover, it will be the official language of An Session (ex 'Esethvos'), and An Bard-meet Kornwall (the 'Gorseth Kernow' as was).

Moreover, we will be recommending to the Kornish Language Partership and to the other parties involved in the current ongoing discussions, that KK+++ should be adopted as the Single Written Form, and that all other lesser forms of the language should be discouraged, if not terminated. Certainly, KK+++ should be the sole recipient of all the lovely grant money which the KK+++/SWF will have bestowed upon it. Recidivist groups like Agan Tung and Council an Tung Kernûak will receive not a penny!

The following features of Kornish are therefore deemed elitist, redundant, Unfit for Purpose, and liable to lead to linguistic exclusion, and should be discarded forthwith:

(1) Gender.
Sensible languages like English manage just fine without it, and so should Kornish. Henceforth, all nouns (and pronouns) will be considered to be neuter (so as to upset neither the feminists nor the masculinists amongst us, but pace the odd eunuch in the population). This accords well with the existing practice in English of concealing the sex of a protagonist, leading to such delights as:
'The chair spoke the opening words at the AGM'.
As Kornish has apparently lost its ancient neutral pronoun, we propose using a kornifikation of the English 'it'. Thus 'yt kewsel' (he, she or it speaks) would suit a talking chair quite well, as it would interlocutors of a more living persuasion.

(2) Mutation.
Most languages find no need for such high jinks, and neither should Kornish. Sensible words have no business indulging in lycanthropy, regardless of the phases of the moon! We should rejoice in the fresh simplicity of 'an mawes', 'mos de'n tre', 'ow kernewek' etc. One beneficial side effect is that, with the letter 'h' being used less, the language will be quicker to type and write, bringing a welcome productivity bonus to Kornish scribes.

(3) Inflected pronominal suffixes, infixed pronouns, etc.
Many languages are quite content with verbs and pronouns that don't keep changing form and position all the darn time; nothing wrong with 'my kewsel', 'gans why', 'rag ty' , 'my gul gweles ty', etc.

(4) Plural endings.
There is no need for more than 1 plural ending; apart from a few relict archaisms, English manages well enough with '-s' most of the time. To preserve the native genius of Kornish, we recommend '-ow' as the universal plural suffix. Thus den/denow, map/mapow, cota/cotaow should find ready acceptance amongst both learners and fluent speakers alike.

(5) Words of Keltic/Alien origin.
As the overwhelming majority of people who want to learn Kornish can already speak English (including most of our Kontinental neighbours), the presence of words of non-English origin creates an unecessary learning barrier for most would-be learners. All such items should be removed from the lexicon as soon as more intelligible replacements can be found for them from Standard English. Moreover, this should encourage closer cultural links with our Keltic neighbours, most of whom only speak English in reality!

Thus, 'an son', 'an daughter', 'an sheep' etc. would be much better than the present mediaevalist terms used. Notice how the gloriously Kornish definite article has been daringly retained, so as to let the learner know that (s)he ain't reading English no more. As one bold KK revivalist put, "We have no past", so we can bid farewell without regret to those backward-looking 'authentyckist' fossils such as 'an map' , 'an vyrgh', and 'an dhavas'.

(6) Words of West-country origin.
Before readers leap to the conclusion that KK+++ is no more than a round-about way of getting to Kornish dialect, we should hasten to point out that non-standard items of English that have made it into the traditional lexicon of Kornish should also be removed. By definition, such parochial lexicalia also add an unecessary barrier to would-be learners. Thus, 'an hogen' will become 'an Kornish pasty' or 'an Ginsters.'

(7) Accent.
In a similar way, the 'ooh aarh' Mummerset accent affected by some denizens of Cornwall is to be deprecated as yet another barrier to the student wannabee. Due to its current prevalence, Estuary English is to be taken as the new Received Pronunciation for the Kornish language, comple'e wiv lo'san'lo'sa glo''aw ['a multiplicity of glottal'] stops. Thus, 'fatel ys gennough why?' becomes "fa'el ees genook wee?', a clear improvement!

Other than these few minor changes, the Kornish language should not be tampered with; we must avoid accusations of dabbling in mere conlangs, after all. Kornish should be encouraged to grow and flourish au naturel, in the hope that it will continue to express the indigenous sprachgefuehl and weltanschauung of the Kornish people, and their unique cultural identity.

An Pyper Dyskredulus
p.p. Bord an Tung Kornik, Truro.