c.f. 'Cornishman / Cornishwoman'
An acolyte of orthographical heterdoxy. A revocable condition (see Saws §3).
Cornishman / Cornishwoman
The opposite of a 'furriner' (q.v.). A revocable condition (see'Saws §2).
Friday, 1 December 2006
authentic, –ick, –yck, -icism, -icist, –icity, –icator (GanS 4)
(Cornicé: authentygion).
It, and its supporters, are also known by the Righteous variously as Tudor/mock-Tudor/neo-Tudor Cornish, mediaeval C., Heidegger-Mobutu Puritan scholars, anti-Cornish furrin bigots inhabiting Ivory-tower refectories. It is known by its aficionados variously as Unified Cornish, Unified Cornish Revised and Late Cornish Revised: UC, UCR, LCR.
These deluded souls fancy that, just because historically attested Cornish looks and sounds beautiful, and was good enough for our fore-fathers and -mothers, it's also good enough for us today. They also fondly imagine that Cornish speakers in the 21st Century might want to be able to read the language used in all those boring, fusty old books like Miracle Plays and the Bible! Why, they only have ONE novel in their depraved lingo! [sic! Ed.] (see 'Kernowek Kemyn', if you know what's good for you!)
Kernowek Kemyn ®, KK, KAK ( GanS 4)
Also widely known by its aficionados as Cornish, Modern Cornish, Phonemic Cornish, Kenewek, Djordjek, Cornish for the 21st Century, the SWF or Single Standard Written Form (q.v.), the Cornish Fit for Any Purpose, Invented Cornish, The Real Cornish that's Actually Much More Beautiful Than Its Creator's Hideous Dictionary, Cornic, Kernewek Esperantek, ramshackle idiolect, jerry-built pidgin, Cornish Fit For Dummies, etc.
This form of the Cornish language simply makes all other forms redundant. Case Closed! QED! Allegations that it is ugly, flawed, in decline, inconsistent despite its insistence on consistency, founded on one man's deluded (and derided, discredited, disproven) scholarship are utterly false! We shall keep a sternly dismissive visage towards the vile canards that KK swept to power in a Putsch at the Truro bierkeller in 1987, by means of a rigged meeting, lies and threats. 'Day of the Forked Tongues', indeed?! Ha!
But if we can get our hands on the allegators (or them canards!) we gonna show them the error of their ways!
Gnarly style! Grando tiempo!
It, and its supporters, are also known by the Righteous variously as Tudor/mock-Tudor/neo-Tudor Cornish, mediaeval C., Heidegger-Mobutu Puritan scholars, anti-Cornish furrin bigots inhabiting Ivory-tower refectories. It is known by its aficionados variously as Unified Cornish, Unified Cornish Revised and Late Cornish Revised: UC, UCR, LCR.
These deluded souls fancy that, just because historically attested Cornish looks and sounds beautiful, and was good enough for our fore-fathers and -mothers, it's also good enough for us today. They also fondly imagine that Cornish speakers in the 21st Century might want to be able to read the language used in all those boring, fusty old books like Miracle Plays and the Bible! Why, they only have ONE novel in their depraved lingo! [sic! Ed.] (see 'Kernowek Kemyn', if you know what's good for you!)
Kernowek Kemyn ®, KK, KAK ( GanS 4)
Also widely known by its aficionados as Cornish, Modern Cornish, Phonemic Cornish, Kenewek, Djordjek, Cornish for the 21st Century, the SWF or Single Standard Written Form (q.v.), the Cornish Fit for Any Purpose, Invented Cornish, The Real Cornish that's Actually Much More Beautiful Than Its Creator's Hideous Dictionary, Cornic, Kernewek Esperantek, ramshackle idiolect, jerry-built pidgin, Cornish Fit For Dummies, etc.
This form of the Cornish language simply makes all other forms redundant. Case Closed! QED! Allegations that it is ugly, flawed, in decline, inconsistent despite its insistence on consistency, founded on one man's deluded (and derided, discredited, disproven) scholarship are utterly false! We shall keep a sternly dismissive visage towards the vile canards that KK swept to power in a Putsch at the Truro bierkeller in 1987, by means of a rigged meeting, lies and threats. 'Day of the Forked Tongues', indeed?! Ha!
But if we can get our hands on the allegators (or them canards!) we gonna show them the error of their ways!
Gnarly style! Grando tiempo!
Byth an knavys, kepar ha den
Yntra ky ha golowbren!
[Whew! Boy! Am I glad the name (and/or sex) on me birth certificate don't quite match me nom de guerre, ah... plume! I too might be hounded out of Cornwall, with hate mail, overturned dustbins and anonyomous threatening phone calls 'ar hyd y nos'! Ed.] Yntra ky ha golowbren!
copyright law ( GanS 4)
A set of pettyfogging restrictions erected by the narrow-minded and the envious to impede the growth of the Kernowek Kemyn® Korpus of published material. However, because the Kause is so noble, they may be justly ignored by the faithful on their Holy Krusade.
As a Kemmynista of my acquaintance put it,
"Books that ain't in KK® are a priori in an inferior form of language altogether, whatever tongue they're written in. When we take loads of books and translate them into KK®, we're doing the authors, the reading public and the 'copyright holders' a big favour. It's ridiculous to suppose that we have to either ask permission for this charitable work, or to make crass monetary payments for it either. The law's for the impedance of wise men, and the obedience of fools, isn't it?"
He certainly must be right, as KK® has never yet found a court in the land that dared to stand in the way of their inevitable march of progress.
plagiarism, see 'copyright law'.
royalty payments, see 'copyright law'.
creative writing, original writing, see 'copyright law'.
author's income, see 'copyright law'.
National Intellectual Property (IP) Crime Group, see 'copyright law', 'Police & Trading Standards'.
Contact details: UK Patent Office at www.patent.gov.uk/crime.htm, tel: 0845 9 500 505, fax: +44 (0) 1633 813600, e-mail: enquiries@patent.gov.uk.
As a Kemmynista of my acquaintance put it,
"Books that ain't in KK® are a priori in an inferior form of language altogether, whatever tongue they're written in. When we take loads of books and translate them into KK®, we're doing the authors, the reading public and the 'copyright holders' a big favour. It's ridiculous to suppose that we have to either ask permission for this charitable work, or to make crass monetary payments for it either. The law's for the impedance of wise men, and the obedience of fools, isn't it?"
He certainly must be right, as KK® has never yet found a court in the land that dared to stand in the way of their inevitable march of progress.
plagiarism, see 'copyright law'.
royalty payments, see 'copyright law'.
creative writing, original writing, see 'copyright law'.
author's income, see 'copyright law'.
National Intellectual Property (IP) Crime Group, see 'copyright law', 'Police & Trading Standards'.
Contact details: UK Patent Office at www.patent.gov.uk/crime.htm, tel: 0845 9 500 505, fax: +44 (0) 1633 813600, e-mail: enquiries@patent.gov.uk.
ego ( GanS 4)
an abnormally enlarged organ found in those who have a pathological interest in themselves, rather than in me. The inflammation may be exacerbated by an over-indulgence in inept orthography.
tw•t, twit, twot (n. vulgar) ( GanS 4)
Those canting feckers who speak the wrong kinda Cornish—and who use polysyllabic utterances (i.e. 'big words') to lull my peg!
The species is, unfortunately, not rare: a look in the mirror will confirm that tw•ttery is not in such short supply that it's confined solely to the second and third persons.
[The author would like to extend his thanks to a Loyal Reader, Mr. Évets, whose frequent, laconic tw•tteries suggested this entry in the magnum opus].
nonsense, nonsensical rambling, load of cr*p (n., n.phr. vulgar)
Some of the terms by which the unlettered, the ineloquent and the ignorant express their appreciation of those who lack these virtues. Alas,
[Thanks again to my Loyal (North American) Reader for his unwitting, not to say witless, contributions!]
The species is, unfortunately, not rare: a look in the mirror will confirm that tw•ttery is not in such short supply that it's confined solely to the second and third persons.
[The author would like to extend his thanks to a Loyal Reader, Mr. Évets, whose frequent, laconic tw•tteries suggested this entry in the magnum opus].
nonsense, nonsensical rambling, load of cr*p (n., n.phr. vulgar)
Some of the terms by which the unlettered, the ineloquent and the ignorant express their appreciation of those who lack these virtues. Alas,
Their meagre minds may blind them to
The simple thought that 'sense'
May be a thing perceived by all,
Except the really dense.
'Bro Ker', An Barthyk Dysbardhek
As the old saw has it, 'In the kingdom of the dumb, the one I'd twit is king'.The simple thought that 'sense'
May be a thing perceived by all,
Except the really dense.
'Bro Ker', An Barthyk Dysbardhek
[Thanks again to my Loyal (North American) Reader for his unwitting, not to say witless, contributions!]
Thursday, 30 November 2006
New Miracle Play Discovery?!
The following article from Proc.Ker.Inst.(10.06) may be of interest.
MS find in late C20 Plymouth midden.
A recently discovered manuscript suggests that Kernowek Kemyn may be historically attested earlier than previous studies have allowed. Using the latest coprochronological methodology, we can now trace KK back to 1984.04.01 (±0.001yr), thus making this year and day doubly auspicious.
This incomplete palimpsest (Ll/g.Gen.Cym. MS. 2.71828/3.14159/GUM) has been tentatively identified as a fragment of a late 20th-Century work, which contains a portion of the previously unknown miracle play 'Bÿwñànz Cê[ñn]'. It is interesting to note that, even at this early stage in the self-styled 'Blessed One's' (B.O.) life, he and his teachings were evidently finding their natural level in the societal matrix of his times.
Tantalisingly enough, it may be that the episode described below is his rumoured, but previously undocumented, 'Road to Damn! Arse! Cuss!' epiphany, in which the B.O. was granted, after a surfeit of bad scrumpy, his miraculously inspired vision of Kemyn. Was it not, indeed, this very epiphanic vision that encouraged his followers to evangelise his teachings with all the humour of a Holy Hangover, and to smite the infidel, with so many colourfully worded invocations?
It may also represent the earliest known hagiography of Sen Hogh (often conflated with Sen Pol), who initially rejected the teachings of the B.O., before becoming one of His most zealous acolytes, and the patron saint and rôle model of many of his followers.
Unfortunately, the subsequent scene is almost entirely missing. What little has been preserved suggests it may have described the Advent of the Archangel Moronic, bearing the Gospel of Kemyn engraved on tablets of gold, one of the central tenets adhered to by the faithful.
Even with the latest forensic techniques, some of the text is unclear, and the following translation cannot be considered as either definitive or complete. Reconstructed and undeciphered portions of the text are indicated with ellipses or square brackets.
† 'kumijn'= kemyn? 'Kemyn' may be a flawed transliteration.
Editor's Note:
Despite the incomplete status of current studies of this fragment, the editors felt that some urgency was attached to its publication, in order to be assured of academic priority and for reasons of public security. There have been persistent rumours that the militant /dj/ihadist wing of Al Quaesva were preparing an unauthorised anarchist edition of the 'Life of Cê[nn]', in an attempt to blow up their own sense of self esteem, and cause as much collateral damage as possible.
MS find in late C20 Plymouth midden.
A recently discovered manuscript suggests that Kernowek Kemyn may be historically attested earlier than previous studies have allowed. Using the latest coprochronological methodology, we can now trace KK back to 1984.04.01 (±0.001yr), thus making this year and day doubly auspicious.
This incomplete palimpsest (Ll/g.Gen.Cym. MS. 2.71828/3.14159/GUM) has been tentatively identified as a fragment of a late 20th-Century work, which contains a portion of the previously unknown miracle play 'Bÿwñànz Cê[ñn]'. It is interesting to note that, even at this early stage in the self-styled 'Blessed One's' (B.O.) life, he and his teachings were evidently finding their natural level in the societal matrix of his times.
Tantalisingly enough, it may be that the episode described below is his rumoured, but previously undocumented, 'Road to Damn! Arse! Cuss!' epiphany, in which the B.O. was granted, after a surfeit of bad scrumpy, his miraculously inspired vision of Kemyn. Was it not, indeed, this very epiphanic vision that encouraged his followers to evangelise his teachings with all the humour of a Holy Hangover, and to smite the infidel, with so many colourfully worded invocations?
It may also represent the earliest known hagiography of Sen Hogh (often conflated with Sen Pol), who initially rejected the teachings of the B.O., before becoming one of His most zealous acolytes, and the patron saint and rôle model of many of his followers.
Unfortunately, the subsequent scene is almost entirely missing. What little has been preserved suggests it may have described the Advent of the Archangel Moronic, bearing the Gospel of Kemyn engraved on tablets of gold, one of the central tenets adhered to by the faithful.
Even with the latest forensic techniques, some of the text is unclear, and the following translation cannot be considered as either definitive or complete. Reconstructed and undeciphered portions of the text are indicated with ellipses or square brackets.
— — — — — — — — — — —
The Life of Cê[ñn]*
It was early [ … ] December, as near as I remember,
I was walking down the street in drunken pride.
No one was I disturbing,
As I lay down by the curbing,
When a pig came up and sat down by My side.
As I lay [ … ] in the gutter, thinking thoughts I could not utter,
A lady passing by was heard to say,
You can tell those who speak [Kumijn]†
By the company that they slum in,
And with that the pig got up and walked away.
Then, Lo!, came forth Great Mo[ …]
Ro [ … ] ns [ … ]
[ … … ]
— — — — — — — — — — —
* 'Cê[ñn]'= scum? ringworm? wormtongue? Problematical to gloss, but 'Cê[ñn]' is a possible scribal error.The Life of Cê[ñn]*
It was early [ … ] December, as near as I remember,
I was walking down the street in drunken pride.
No one was I disturbing,
As I lay down by the curbing,
When a pig came up and sat down by My side.
As I lay [ … ] in the gutter, thinking thoughts I could not utter,
A lady passing by was heard to say,
You can tell those who speak [Kumijn]†
By the company that they slum in,
And with that the pig got up and walked away.
Then, Lo!, came forth Great Mo[ …]
Ro [ … ] ns [ … ]
[ … … ]
— — — — — — — — — — —
† 'kumijn'= kemyn? 'Kemyn' may be a flawed transliteration.
Editor's Note:
Despite the incomplete status of current studies of this fragment, the editors felt that some urgency was attached to its publication, in order to be assured of academic priority and for reasons of public security. There have been persistent rumours that the militant /dj/ihadist wing of Al Quaesva were preparing an unauthorised anarchist edition of the 'Life of Cê[nn]', in an attempt to blow up their own sense of self esteem, and cause as much collateral damage as possible.
pond (GanS 3)
An aquatic enclosure of diminutive dimensions which allows a small tiddler to indulge his/her folie de grandeur and dream of whaledom. Examples include the Chair of the Antarctic Ice-cream Commission, and, of course, the Cornish Language Revival (see Kernowek Kemyn: The Jacobin Years by Ms. Djennedh Kordj [1st edn. Truro, 1987]).
poetry (GanS 3)
fig.1 Fancy fontwork is symptomatic of 'Poetry'.
A special form of language used to convey profound thoughts—those which mere prose could ne'er hope to delineate. The present author's Gerva an Scrynkyer contains many outstanding specimens of the species (and one lives in humble hope of the Arghdrewyth's summons to his sacred kelly-wyk!).
Some of the characteristic symptoms of a 'poem':
• lines contain a matching —or contrasting— number of syllables: dum-ti dum-ti diddle-ee…
• the terminal syllables on successive lines cunningly form a regular pattern of sound: –ooh –aah –ooh –aah,
• the pages display more than the normal quota both of unused paper and of fancy fonts (as shown above in fig.1).
• the chosen vocabulary contains more than the normal quota of words that require the help of your dictionary/thesaurus to decipher, as the englyn above has clearly demonstrated.
• the words that don't need the dictionary don't mean what you think they ought to. This is known as 'symbolism' or 'allusion'. For example, in the verse above, the word 'font' superficially refers to a style of lettering, while the underlying allusive leit motif evokes the fount of bardic éclaircissement from which the poet has quaffed a deep, inspirational draught.
• the bard knows more fancy words to do with poetry than you do. If you can score more than 3/4 on the following, yer in with a shout at this malarkey yerself:
Q.(1) What is the cure for acute prosopopoeia?
Q.(2) Do the Cornish sit on an Esethvos Kernow?
Q.(3) Does enjambement feature in ballet dancing or the Kama Sutra?
Q.(4) Is Pyrrhic foot treatable with over-the-counter medication?
However, these guidelines are only true for yer workaday, run-of-the-mill poetry; Advanced Poetry doesn't necessarily do any of the above, and can only be reliably identified by asking an Expert, who will tell you whether it's poetry, or whether it's dreck. Furthermore, the popularity of a poem is a mark of its quality: if lots of people read it, then it's mere doggerel, and beneath contempt. The fewer folk read it, the better it is --which leads us to the startling conclusion that the Best Poetry is read by no-one at all.
Doctorate of Philosophy (Ph.D) (GanS 3)
A degree that --when other people have one-- is imbued with overweening delusions of superiority, especially if they speak the wrong kind of Cornish, and extra especially if it's also been awarded by a School of Celtic Studies. It is quite distinct from one's own more worthy sheepskin (since all the best people get a Lower Second, don'cha know!)
Saws, Sawses (English, cf. 'furriner') (GanS 3)
This strange race comes in 3 tribes who appear to vary widely in their habits and behaviour:
(1) The numerous, basic but irrelevant 'Saws(es) sempel':
Ones who know nothing of Cornwall and its language, and care even less. Members of the migratory 'Emmet' cohorts of this tribe of Sawson are useful to the natives, however, as a source of seasonal income:
Ones who use a depraved form of Cornish that I don't. These contemptible furriners have no place in the language Revival movement, especially if they're educated, and extra especially if they have more academic letters after their name than I do.
Some naturalised members of this tribe used to be Cornish quislings who wilfully embraced the wrong form of Kernewek, and were therefore stripped of their Cornish citizenship and sternly hounded out of the Duchy. As the old saw has it,
(3) The wise & civilised 'Saws(es) skyansek'
Ones who use the right form of Cornish, just like I do. These worthy souls may be granted honorary Cornish citizenship, a Cornified name on their birth certificate, and even a revised birth-place on God's own side of the Tamar.
Curiously enough, this tri-tribal division is found with each of the divers other races in Cornwall, including Manx, Masai, Mongols, Magyars, Georgians … and even the Cornish themselves.
(1) The numerous, basic but irrelevant 'Saws(es) sempel':
Ones who know nothing of Cornwall and its language, and care even less. Members of the migratory 'Emmet' cohorts of this tribe of Sawson are useful to the natives, however, as a source of seasonal income:
Saws sempel came down like a sheep on the fold,
And his pockets were gleaming with silver and gold;
And the fleecing and shearing was wondrous to do,
While the blue wave rolled nightly from Mousehole to Looe.
And his pockets were gleaming with silver and gold;
And the fleecing and shearing was wondrous to do,
While the blue wave rolled nightly from Mousehole to Looe.
Arluth Byr-on (1788–1824)
(2) The horrible 'Saws(es) scruthus':Ones who use a depraved form of Cornish that I don't. These contemptible furriners have no place in the language Revival movement, especially if they're educated, and extra especially if they have more academic letters after their name than I do.
Some naturalised members of this tribe used to be Cornish quislings who wilfully embraced the wrong form of Kernewek, and were therefore stripped of their Cornish citizenship and sternly hounded out of the Duchy. As the old saw has it,
Crampedhen hep oyow terrys, ny yller kegy an cok!
(3) The wise & civilised 'Saws(es) skyansek'
Ones who use the right form of Cornish, just like I do. These worthy souls may be granted honorary Cornish citizenship, a Cornified name on their birth certificate, and even a revised birth-place on God's own side of the Tamar.
Curiously enough, this tri-tribal division is found with each of the divers other races in Cornwall, including Manx, Masai, Mongols, Magyars, Georgians … and even the Cornish themselves.
Wednesday, 29 November 2006
Kernowek Amendys Kemyn (KAK):—
A Modest Proposal for the Inevitable Kemyn Revolution.
by
An Pyber Dyscryjyk.
by
An Pyber Dyscryjyk.
One aspect of the current orthographical dispute within the Cornish-speaking community has not yet, apparently, been addressed: the numerical disparity between 3 deprecated forms of Cornish on the one hand, and only 1 form of Kemyn on the other.
Let us consider the status quo in more detail. On the 'historically attested' side, we have 3 contenders (Unified, Late Revised and Unified Revised) who seem to find each other's company congenial. These deviants on the 'Dark Side of the Force' are variously known as the 'Venom-Spitters', the 'Living Fossils' or the 'Bizarre anti-Cornish self-referential Bigots'. Some Marxists even deprecate them as the 'Wilhelmine Intelligentsia' (although Kaiser Wilhelm's exact rôle in the Cornish language revival is unspecified) who are, somewhat anachronistically, 'stuck in a 15th Century refectory'!
On the other 'innovative' side, by contrast, in stern and noble isolation, we have the Kernowek Kemyn clan. As we shall see, it should more accurately be termed Kernowek Kemyn (Bog-standard). On this side we have the followers of 'Phonemic Cornish' 'Modern Cornish', or '21st Century Cornish' as it is sometimes tautologically known. They rightly refuse to have anything to do with the old-fashioned, out-of-date written forms of the language used by our poor benighted ancestors: we should take notice of their antiquated ideas just because THEY were 'native speakers'? Preposterous!
The good news is that this 'Side of the Angels' has, by its own modest under-estimation, between 90% and 98% of Cornish speakers as its disciples. The bad news is that KK(B.S.) is outnumbered by THREE debased forms of the language. There is no reason, however, that we need to tolerate this inequity by restricting ourselves to merely 1 system of KK: while Djordj et al's arguments have had a gratifyingly divisive effect on the Cornish-speaking community, they appear to have lacked the resoluteness to take their ideas through to the logical, final resolution.
We propose a simple answer to this dilemma: Kernowek Amendys Kemyn (KAK). And, to anticipate the inevitable schisms such a proposal will bring to the more fractious denizens of the Cornish-speaking world, KAK is designed to be schismatic from the outset, with 3 recommended forms, and multiple further optional forms. We are, as the Conservative Party likes to say, a broad 'church' (not for us the narrow confines of a Chy Byghan!) and all are welcome to KAK within our walls. We are so all-inclusive that even the Bog-Standard form of Kernowek Kemyn is KAK. Indeed, in honour of its achievements as the 'father' of KAK, KK(B.S.) deserves to be re-designated as KAK(B.S.).
The aim of KAK: that this process of 'linguistic balkanisation' be extended so as to reduce the number of individuals using each version of Cornish to such a degree that no further schism will be likely or even possible: 'chacun à son propre idiolecte' is one of our mottos. Indeed, it should also reduce the total number of individuals using any version of Cornish, thereby building on the promising initial ground-work started by the founders of KK(B.S.) in the 1980s.
::::: The Recommended Forms of KAK :::::
1. KAK(i.t.a.) - http://www.itafoundation.org/index.html
The Initial Teaching Alphabet was a bold scheme, intended to facilitate children learning to read English. It was based on the normal English alphabet, with extra glyphs to cover all the phonemes in standard English. Although this scheme was a failure in England, and was rejected with derision by the arrogant Welsh, that should not deter us from adopting it on this side of the Tamar. Indeed, it should be ideally Fit for the Purpose of teaching the linguistic ingénues who make up the majority of those wishing to learn Cornish.
Traditionalists might prefer to base their KAK on Truespel, which uses the normal alphabet and was the basis for i.t.a. (http://victorian.fortunecity.com/vangogh/555/Spell/truespel-1.html).
2. KAK(George B.S.) - http://www.shawalphabet.com/index1.html
George Bernard Shaw devised a phonetic writing system for English with some 58 symbols, which owe little or nothing to the conventional alphabetical glyphs. The Grand Old Man's scheme deserves the chance to stand alongside the work of that other great Djordj: Awenyth Kernow, or The 'Cornish Genius', as he prefers to be known.
3. KAKakana - http://www.omniglot.com/writing/japanese_katakana.htm
Katakana, the Japanese syllabary, will not only make Cornish look exotically different, its mandatory system of /consonant+vowel/ will have a novel effect on its pronunciation as well:
un pynta coref ha hogen whath, Wella, mar plek
...or... /kemin yu kaku fiku, nan desu ka?/ .
Its restricted range of consonants will render moot any lingering embarassment about /tj/, /dj/
::::: Optional Forms of KAK :::::
- Other made-up alphabets that may be attractive include: Benjamin Franklin's 'Phonetic Alphabet', International Phonetic Alphabet, John Malone's 'Unifon' and Alexander Melville Bell's 'Visible Speech'.
- Scots Gaelic: this language is much admired for the precision and elegance of its orthography, and will make KAK(Gàidhlig) easier for Scots Gaels to learn. This Fitness For Purpose should be a major attraction for Cornish classes in the Outer Hebrides and Nova Scotia. For those other ausländer-Gaels whose envy of the Scottish orthography prevents them from fully appreciating its virtues, the deprecated KAK(Gaeilge) and KAK(Gaelg) forms would be feasible --if lesser-- versions that the Irish and Manx might care to consider.
- For those who would prefer a more Brythonomorphic orthography (perhaps because their style of Cornish contains so many Welsh and Breton loan-words and calques), we suggest KAK(Cymraeg), with possible broad subdivisions into KAK(Cymraeg llenyddol), KAK(Cymraeg / Gogs), KAK(Cymraeg / Hwntws) and KAK(Cymraeg / Saeson), the latter having all the difficult phonemes removed (/ll/ -> /ffl/, /ch/ -> /k/ etc.). KAK(Breizh) would be able to boast several similar subdivisions as well, and would appeal to those who want to speak Cornish wiz a French accent. Unfortunately, KAK(Breizh) would be largely redundant as KK(B.S.) has already implemented this hybrid.
- For brythonocentricists of a more antiquarian bent, KAK(Gaulish), KAK(Galician), KAK(Celtiberian) and KAK(Ogham) might be worth exploring.
- For those long, Winter's nights, nothing could be better suited than KAK(Inuktitut), especially as there is now a keyboard driver for it, thanks to the indefatigable 'Map Bynary'.
::::: Deprecated Forms of KAK :::::
- As a written medium for Cornish, we deprecate as frivolous Tolkien's Elvish 'Tengwar' runes and Star Trek's Klingon (along with Andorian, Bajoran, Borg, Cardassian and Ferengi), but others may disagree, particularly those individuals and organisations who favour the more fictional forms of Cornish.
- A less indo-europeanocentric sprachgefuehl would be found in KAK(Euskadi), with its variant offshoot KAK(ETA) for those who prefer the less rational forms of linguistic debate.
- Transatlantic speakers with deplorable tastes might hanker for KAK(Dreck), based on an expressive americanism denoting 'trash, especially inferior merchandise', derived from the German and Yiddish word for 'excrement' (http://www.yourdictionary.com/ahd/d/d0386300.html). Coprophiles on this side of the 'Pond' might prefer the idiolect known as KAK(Saun Dreck) that one encounters occasionally.
::::: Conclusion :::::
However, these are merely a few of the many possibilities for KAK; the OmniGlot site (http://www.omniglot.com/index.htm) gives details of many orthographical systems from around the world, including most of those mentioned above. Tocharian, Lepcha and Cherokee might be especially attractive possiblities.
With so many forms of KAK behind us, we can look forward to the ultimate World KAK Revolution, as the deviant running dogs of the other recidivist forms of 'Cornish' collapse under the weight of their own internal inconsistencies, as foretold by the prophet Djordj (dialectical blessings be upon him!).
::::: KAK longa, vita brevis! ::::: KAK yn dha anow! ::::: KAK super omnia! :::::
::::: KAK mit uns! ::::: KAK mar plek! :::::
::::: KAK warnan! :::::
::::: KAK mit uns! ::::: KAK mar plek! :::::
::::: KAK warnan! :::::
Single (or Standard?) Written Form (GanS 2)
A curiously elusive phrase, which seems to have gathered unto itself at least 2 distinct meanings.
(NB. a sans font is used for the KK viewpoint)
(1) SWF (Single Written Form) by consensus:
Cornish speakers and scholars will attempt to arrive, through currently ongoing discussion and compromise, at a consensual form of the language that everyone can live with. This will probably work; certainly, Cornish speakers are intelligent and mature enough for this to have a good chance of succeeding. And most of the forms of Cornish in use today are close enough to each other for such a compromise to be feasible.
Note: 'Single Written Form' is the original meaning of the SWF acronym; the Kemynistas introduced a second meaning (SWF='Standard Written Form) as an attempt to obscure the issue by confusing people.
(2) SWF (Standard Written Form) by Nazgûl diktat ex cathedra:
Cornish speakers will accept that Kernowek Kemyn already is the SWF, because the KK apparatchiks have decreed that this be so. This will work with absolute certainty (let's be clear about that! Case closed!), as Cornish speakers are obedient and stupid enough that it cannot fail to work. Moreover, there is only ONE valid form of Cornish (which just happens to be the one that we use); as for the other heretical forms, we say, as did our friends the dallekow, 'DESTROY! ANNIHILATE!'
One is reminded of the old joke:
Q. How many Microsoft software engineers does it take to change a light-bulb?
-- A. None: they just declare MS Dark ® (v1.0) to be the new Light Standard.
Thus (albeit somewhat derivatively)…
Q. How many Kemynistas does it take to arrive at a Single Written Form?
-- A. None: BS Kemyn '84 ® (v0.1b) already is the de facto Standard, as it has a 98% (and rising!) market share.
(NB. a sans font is used for the KK viewpoint)
(1) SWF (Single Written Form) by consensus:
Cornish speakers and scholars will attempt to arrive, through currently ongoing discussion and compromise, at a consensual form of the language that everyone can live with. This will probably work; certainly, Cornish speakers are intelligent and mature enough for this to have a good chance of succeeding. And most of the forms of Cornish in use today are close enough to each other for such a compromise to be feasible.
Note: 'Single Written Form' is the original meaning of the SWF acronym; the Kemynistas introduced a second meaning (SWF='Standard Written Form) as an attempt to obscure the issue by confusing people.
(2) SWF (Standard Written Form) by Nazgûl diktat ex cathedra:
Cornish speakers will accept that Kernowek Kemyn already is the SWF, because the KK apparatchiks have decreed that this be so. This will work with absolute certainty (let's be clear about that! Case closed!), as Cornish speakers are obedient and stupid enough that it cannot fail to work. Moreover, there is only ONE valid form of Cornish (which just happens to be the one that we use); as for the other heretical forms, we say, as did our friends the dallekow, 'DESTROY! ANNIHILATE!'
One is reminded of the old joke:
Q. How many Microsoft software engineers does it take to change a light-bulb?
-- A. None: they just declare MS Dark ® (v1.0) to be the new Light Standard.
Thus (albeit somewhat derivatively)…
Q. How many Kemynistas does it take to arrive at a Single Written Form?
-- A. None: BS Kemyn '84 ® (v0.1b) already is the de facto Standard, as it has a 98% (and rising!) market share.
gryppa (GanS 2)
(aka the 'weakly beloved', or gwan ker)
One who would like to enjoy him- (or her-) -self in solitude, but lacks the coordinated neuromotor skills to pull it off. The Gryppa tribe is scattered throughout the south-west, although the type of Cornish that they speak is —surprisingly enough, perhaps— not reliably diagnostic. The population is stable despite its members' eponymously non-reproductive mating habits. The species is occasionally migratory, and individuals may be found as far afield as Italy, where rumour has it that Caesar was a Gryppa. With fitting solipsism, the tribal motto is, 'Onan hag oll'.
One who would like to enjoy him- (or her-) -self in solitude, but lacks the coordinated neuromotor skills to pull it off. The Gryppa tribe is scattered throughout the south-west, although the type of Cornish that they speak is —surprisingly enough, perhaps— not reliably diagnostic. The population is stable despite its members' eponymously non-reproductive mating habits. The species is occasionally migratory, and individuals may be found as far afield as Italy, where rumour has it that Caesar was a Gryppa. With fitting solipsism, the tribal motto is, 'Onan hag oll'.
grammar book (GanS 2)
An instrument of torture written by one who takes no joy in a language, to spoil the fun of those who do. Alternately, a method of preserving a language for post-mortem study by sucking all the juice out of it, thereby rendering it inedible to all but the scholastic palate.
It serves equally well to torment young and old alike, although it has been the especial bane of untold generations of school children (UNESCO is to call for a global ban of its Latin incarnations). The great Ambrose Bierce himself likens it to 'a system of pitfalls thoughtfully prepared for the feet of the self-made man' [op. cit.].
It serves equally well to torment young and old alike, although it has been the especial bane of untold generations of school children (UNESCO is to call for a global ban of its Latin incarnations). The great Ambrose Bierce himself likens it to 'a system of pitfalls thoughtfully prepared for the feet of the self-made man' [op. cit.].
The centipede was happy till
A grammarist in pique
said, 'Pray, which word comes after which?'
This worked her up to such a pitch
She lay distracted in a ditch,
Considering how to speak.
A grammarist in pique
said, 'Pray, which word comes after which?'
This worked her up to such a pitch
She lay distracted in a ditch,
Considering how to speak.
from ''Das ist m'nure", pace Herr Dyhanow (floruit ca. 1930).
dictionary (GanS 2)
"A malevolent literary device for cramping the growth of a language and making it hard and inelastic. This dictionary, however, is a most useful work". (Ambrose Bierce, The Devil's Dictionary. 1906)
A vehicle for displaying the full glory of the compiler's ignorance: of the language, its spelling and pronunciation, of typography, and of the world in general. Statistics prove that the narrowness of the word-monger's dogmatism is directly proportional to the depth of the abyss of his/her unknowledge. (An Geryadorer Dyslettrys, Gerva an Scrynkyer. 2006)
A vehicle for displaying the full glory of the compiler's ignorance: of the language, its spelling and pronunciation, of typography, and of the world in general. Statistics prove that the narrowness of the word-monger's dogmatism is directly proportional to the depth of the abyss of his/her unknowledge. (An Geryadorer Dyslettrys, Gerva an Scrynkyer. 2006)
dysawsnekheans, de-anglicisation (GanS 2)
A central, sacred rite of the sect of Common Furrinophobes (estrenofobow kemyn), or Kemynocrats as they're sometimes known. Seeing the revered lexicon of their heavenly Yeth an Nevow polluted with furrin words of the Saxon estrennek ilk, they strove to replace these illicit interlopers with furrin words of the Breton tramor persuasion instead. Bretonisation (laudable and licit, so it is) should not be confused with the perverted practice of Cymricisation, in which deprecated furrin words of the Cymric kind are (unlaudably and illicitly) interloped.
And (so we hear) Hibernicisation is utterly beyond the Pale, even if it does come from Dublin: their stout may be palatable, and their tunes are catchy enough, but they can keep their nasty little furrin tongues right off of our ursprache! We've enough home-grown dreck of our own, ta very much, without needing to import it from the auld sods of the insula smaragdina!
Those English roots can kiss my hairy …
They're not in my dictionary.
Substitute a Breton word—
A thousand more won't look absurd,
Compared to Welsh and Éireannach,
Which would be lots worse, look you, bach.
Tíasaí Mac a' Rónai, to the tune of A' Bhratach Dhearg (The Red Flag)
And (so we hear) Hibernicisation is utterly beyond the Pale, even if it does come from Dublin: their stout may be palatable, and their tunes are catchy enough, but they can keep their nasty little furrin tongues right off of our ursprache! We've enough home-grown dreck of our own, ta very much, without needing to import it from the auld sods of the insula smaragdina!
Those English roots can kiss my hairy …
They're not in my dictionary.
Substitute a Breton word—
A thousand more won't look absurd,
Compared to Welsh and Éireannach,
Which would be lots worse, look you, bach.
Tíasaí Mac a' Rónai, to the tune of A' Bhratach Dhearg (The Red Flag)
the Celtic Studies Scholars (GanS 1)
There are two varieties of this species of scholar (at least, according to the Kemmynistas!):
(1) Those who agree with us, and are good, intelligent chaps (and chapesses), whose every utterance is truer than the truth.
(2) Those who don't. These vile swine are overeducated anti-Cornish bigots (with more letters after their name than I have) who rose to their present lofty positions in Academia through (alway unspecified) nefarious means, and whose every word is the blackest lie. They're also furriners, and you can't trust furriners: if they weren't a nasty, shifty, untrustworthy lot (with distasteful personal habits) then they wouldn't be furriners, would they?! Nor live in furrin parts, neither!
(1) Those who agree with us, and are good, intelligent chaps (and chapesses), whose every utterance is truer than the truth.
(2) Those who don't. These vile swine are overeducated anti-Cornish bigots (with more letters after their name than I have) who rose to their present lofty positions in Academia through (alway unspecified) nefarious means, and whose every word is the blackest lie. They're also furriners, and you can't trust furriners: if they weren't a nasty, shifty, untrustworthy lot (with distasteful personal habits) then they wouldn't be furriners, would they?! Nor live in furrin parts, neither!
twenty-first century Cornish (GanS 1)
"The superior form of the language which I use, in contradistinction to the inferior form that you use". In two decades of contentious argument, many hundreds of learners have been driven away from the Language Revival, and the question of superiority is not yet resolved.
An ambiguous term which seems to denote several mutually exclusive concepts, depending on your point of view:
(1) The Laissez-fairy:
Somewhat tautologically, any form of Cornish which is spoken or written in the present century. This broad definition includes both those forms of the language which would be fairly recognisable to our ancestors (should they turn up unexpectedly in a time machine), as well as those forms which would not. This latter group includes a range of 'Cornic esperantos' such as Kemyn and Saun-dreck.
(2) The Historical Attesticle:
Any form of Cornish (such as Unified C., Late C., or their Revised versions) which bears a resemblance to what our ancestors would have written and spoken. There is some difficulty in establishing just what that would have been, as the language pretty much died out in the 19th century; but the best reconstructions have to be based on the written evidence, as that is all we have, rather than the pipe-dreams of some scholars manqué. This definition excludes fictional forms such as Kemyn, Saun-dreck, etc. as not being real Cornish.
(3) The Kemynite:
Kemyn (or Kenewek as it is often known) is the only form for the new century. All the historically-based forms of Cornish are swept aside by the new broom, and are deprecated as old-fashioned, mediaeval, dead, or as being used by 'anti-Cornish bigots who exist in a Tudor refectory culture' [sic].
(This invented form is sometimes known by its adherents simply as 'Cornish' (implying that the other forms are too worthless to count) or 'Fit-for-Purpose Cornish' and 'Easy-enough-for-Cornish-dullards Cornish').
(4) The Ivory Towerite:
21st-century Cornish is a null concept: Cornish is nicely dead, a pickled museum specimen, an ideal medium for academic dissertations because there aren't any uppity native speakers around to disagree with anything you might care to write. Speakers of the revived forms of 'Cornish' don't count, because they're not real Cornish: UC, UCR, LCR, Kemyn, Saun-dreck are all equally spurious.
However, the 'Ivory Towerite' is a curious beast, since all reports of his existence seem to be second hand: no-one ever admits either to being one or to having actually met one. He could be as mythical as most of the "92–98% of Cornish speakers" claimed by the Kemyn Klan.
An ambiguous term which seems to denote several mutually exclusive concepts, depending on your point of view:
(1) The Laissez-fairy:
Somewhat tautologically, any form of Cornish which is spoken or written in the present century. This broad definition includes both those forms of the language which would be fairly recognisable to our ancestors (should they turn up unexpectedly in a time machine), as well as those forms which would not. This latter group includes a range of 'Cornic esperantos' such as Kemyn and Saun-dreck.
(2) The Historical Attesticle:
Any form of Cornish (such as Unified C., Late C., or their Revised versions) which bears a resemblance to what our ancestors would have written and spoken. There is some difficulty in establishing just what that would have been, as the language pretty much died out in the 19th century; but the best reconstructions have to be based on the written evidence, as that is all we have, rather than the pipe-dreams of some scholars manqué. This definition excludes fictional forms such as Kemyn, Saun-dreck, etc. as not being real Cornish.
(3) The Kemynite:
Kemyn (or Kenewek as it is often known) is the only form for the new century. All the historically-based forms of Cornish are swept aside by the new broom, and are deprecated as old-fashioned, mediaeval, dead, or as being used by 'anti-Cornish bigots who exist in a Tudor refectory culture' [sic].
(This invented form is sometimes known by its adherents simply as 'Cornish' (implying that the other forms are too worthless to count) or 'Fit-for-Purpose Cornish' and 'Easy-enough-for-Cornish-dullards Cornish').
(4) The Ivory Towerite:
21st-century Cornish is a null concept: Cornish is nicely dead, a pickled museum specimen, an ideal medium for academic dissertations because there aren't any uppity native speakers around to disagree with anything you might care to write. Speakers of the revived forms of 'Cornish' don't count, because they're not real Cornish: UC, UCR, LCR, Kemyn, Saun-dreck are all equally spurious.
However, the 'Ivory Towerite' is a curious beast, since all reports of his existence seem to be second hand: no-one ever admits either to being one or to having actually met one. He could be as mythical as most of the "92–98% of Cornish speakers" claimed by the Kemyn Klan.
cuckoo (GanS 1)
The Cornish sub-species of common cuckoo, Cuculus canorus cornubiensis, is known to our native zoologists (or 'beastlorers', as Nativists might term them) as Cucu kemyn. The bird is known for its raucous song and the inept typography of its plumage.
But what is even less congenial is Cucu kemyn's parasitic behaviour towards members of other avian species. The gravid hen (the yar or dj-yar-dj as it is known locally) sneaks up on an unoccupied nest and lays a single egg, camouflaged to resemble those of its unwitting hosts. As the fledgeling grows, it ejects all the other chicks from the nest until it is the only survivor, and can receive the undivided attention of its food providers.
It is selective in which species it parasitises, preferring either institutional nests like those of the Kesva kemynophora and the Cowethus pseudoyethii, or those of naïve members of the family Dyskeridae. Curiously, the species seems to be ashamed of its method of reproduction, as it persistently denies its own natural history, preferring a sanitised, fictional version in which the host species agree to be parasitised for their own good.
The current range and population size of the species is difficult to estimate, even though the bird is loud and vainglorious, and thus conspicuous in the wild. But field recordings by cornithologists suggest that the Cucu kemyn is in decline, as its parasitised host species appear to have learned to recognise its eggs, and cooperate in removing them from their nests before they hatch.
If you want to be known as a kook who
Indulges in Cornish that's cuckoo,
Learn Kernowek Kemmyng
And then, like a lemmyng,
Head straight for the cliffs—Kemyn: fük yu!
The "Strain'd Muse" (1984)
But what is even less congenial is Cucu kemyn's parasitic behaviour towards members of other avian species. The gravid hen (the yar or dj-yar-dj as it is known locally) sneaks up on an unoccupied nest and lays a single egg, camouflaged to resemble those of its unwitting hosts. As the fledgeling grows, it ejects all the other chicks from the nest until it is the only survivor, and can receive the undivided attention of its food providers.
It is selective in which species it parasitises, preferring either institutional nests like those of the Kesva kemynophora and the Cowethus pseudoyethii, or those of naïve members of the family Dyskeridae. Curiously, the species seems to be ashamed of its method of reproduction, as it persistently denies its own natural history, preferring a sanitised, fictional version in which the host species agree to be parasitised for their own good.
The current range and population size of the species is difficult to estimate, even though the bird is loud and vainglorious, and thus conspicuous in the wild. But field recordings by cornithologists suggest that the Cucu kemyn is in decline, as its parasitised host species appear to have learned to recognise its eggs, and cooperate in removing them from their nests before they hatch.
If you want to be known as a kook who
Indulges in Cornish that's cuckoo,
Learn Kernowek Kemmyng
And then, like a lemmyng,
Head straight for the cliffs—Kemyn: fük yu!
The "Strain'd Muse" (1984)
wiled boar (GanS 1)
A member of the Cornish species Porcus vulgaris kemyniensis, known to our native naturalists as Hogh cos kemyn. The beast is noted for animal wiliness rather than true intelligence, and when cornered (or in a feeding frenzy) has a tendency to incoherent glossolalia. At such times, its spelling (never one of its strong points) tends to deteriorate into polyglot illegibility, with an accompanying decline in lexical competence.
The species' range was formerly more extensive than at present, but it is currently in decline due to the ecological damage caused by its own indiscriminate predation (it will not tolerate the presence of any related commensal species within its territory, especially the more vigorous hybrids such as the several gregarious sub-species of Porcus cornubiloquens authenticus).
Moreover, its tenuous grasp on reality means it is ill suited to adapt to a rapidly changing environment. It is likely that only emergency measures from the World Wiled-lies Fund (WWlF) might save the species from eventual extinction.
Hogh kemyn was a hungry beast,
Who ate his neighbours as a feast;
But his voracious appetite
Has brought him to his parlous plight.
He's eaten all his friends, and those
He might've thought of as his foes,
Ignoring that, unfriends and brothers,
We each depend on all the others.
When no sister guards your back,
And no unfriends take up the slack,
You must rely on on your own wit
And if that fails, you're in the …KAK.*
An Cragh-varth Methek (2006)
(* KAK refers to the author's earlier satirical 'Modest Proposal' for reforming the Cornish Language: Kernowek Amendys Kemyn (KAK), which has been reprinted here.)
The species' range was formerly more extensive than at present, but it is currently in decline due to the ecological damage caused by its own indiscriminate predation (it will not tolerate the presence of any related commensal species within its territory, especially the more vigorous hybrids such as the several gregarious sub-species of Porcus cornubiloquens authenticus).
Moreover, its tenuous grasp on reality means it is ill suited to adapt to a rapidly changing environment. It is likely that only emergency measures from the World Wiled-lies Fund (WWlF) might save the species from eventual extinction.
Hogh kemyn was a hungry beast,
Who ate his neighbours as a feast;
But his voracious appetite
Has brought him to his parlous plight.
He's eaten all his friends, and those
He might've thought of as his foes,
Ignoring that, unfriends and brothers,
We each depend on all the others.
When no sister guards your back,
And no unfriends take up the slack,
You must rely on on your own wit
And if that fails, you're in the …KAK.*
An Cragh-varth Methek (2006)
(* KAK refers to the author's earlier satirical 'Modest Proposal' for reforming the Cornish Language: Kernowek Amendys Kemyn (KAK), which has been reprinted here.)
Gerva an Scrynkyer (GanS) reprinted
The cries of wounded vanity from An Barthyk Dysbardhek have become too much for us to bear, and we have reluctantly offered to reprint some of his work that previously was only available to members of the CornishOrthography group at:
These were issued in the 8 parts of the Gerva an Scrynkyer ('GanS') series. The editor of GanS, our own Geryadorer Dyslettrys, has agreed to undertake the arduous task of converting the original PDF files of GansS into HTML, so they can be read on this blog by a wider audience. We've had to promise An Mutyor Mur (as we're very privately calling El Sulko Grande!) that we'd let you know that all the versification in GansS is actually by him, under divers "self-deprecatingly humble pseudonyms, to allow him to explore a range of inner bardic avatars" [his words, not ours!].
It might be worth saying a little about the background to GanS, and the reasons we chose that vehicle for some of our writings. The initial inspiration for GanS was the Cynic's Dictionary (later renamed The Devil's Dictionary) by Ambrose Bierce (1842–ca.1914), an American writer and journalist. He used the form of a dictionary issued serially in a newspaper column to satirise hypocrisy and fakery in contemporary society. His Dictionary has been reprinted many times since, but a free public-domain version may be downloaded, along with most of his other writings, from The Gutenberg Project at:
Another satirist who influenced us was the English satirist Alexander Pope (1688–1744), who was noted for his waspish writings. Although it requires some explanation to today's readers, his Dunciad remains well worth reading. Many of his works are also available free from the same place:
Finally, the 17th-century Gaelic poet Iain 'Lom' MacDhòmhnaill was another source of encouragement; he was a fiercely anti-Hanoverian Jacobite with a savage turn of phrase, and one of the most acid pens ever wielded (metaphorically, anyway; ma's math mo chuimhne, as I recall, he's thought to have been illiterate!). His nickname, Lom, has a range of possible meanings: bare or bald on the one hand, and sharp or cutting on the other. Some reckon the nickname refers to his alleged baldness, but the concensus is generally behind the sharp/cutting/satirical meaning of the word. Gaelic Lom is possibly cognate both with the Cornish word lym (Welsh llym) in its sharp sense, and C. lom in its bald sense. One of the poems in GanS even has a wee tribute to 'Jowan Lym' as we might dub him; in Issue 5 under the headword 'obscurantist vocabulary' we have a nice little satire attributed to An Cragh-varthyk Lym. Some of Iain Lom's works may be read in translation on Wikipedia:
These were issued in the 8 parts of the Gerva an Scrynkyer ('GanS') series. The editor of GanS, our own Geryadorer Dyslettrys, has agreed to undertake the arduous task of converting the original PDF files of GansS into HTML, so they can be read on this blog by a wider audience. We've had to promise An Mutyor Mur (as we're very privately calling El Sulko Grande!) that we'd let you know that all the versification in GansS is actually by him, under divers "self-deprecatingly humble pseudonyms, to allow him to explore a range of inner bardic avatars" [his words, not ours!].
It might be worth saying a little about the background to GanS, and the reasons we chose that vehicle for some of our writings. The initial inspiration for GanS was the Cynic's Dictionary (later renamed The Devil's Dictionary) by Ambrose Bierce (1842–ca.1914), an American writer and journalist. He used the form of a dictionary issued serially in a newspaper column to satirise hypocrisy and fakery in contemporary society. His Dictionary has been reprinted many times since, but a free public-domain version may be downloaded, along with most of his other writings, from The Gutenberg Project at:
Another satirist who influenced us was the English satirist Alexander Pope (1688–1744), who was noted for his waspish writings. Although it requires some explanation to today's readers, his Dunciad remains well worth reading. Many of his works are also available free from the same place:
Finally, the 17th-century Gaelic poet Iain 'Lom' MacDhòmhnaill was another source of encouragement; he was a fiercely anti-Hanoverian Jacobite with a savage turn of phrase, and one of the most acid pens ever wielded (metaphorically, anyway; ma's math mo chuimhne, as I recall, he's thought to have been illiterate!). His nickname, Lom, has a range of possible meanings: bare or bald on the one hand, and sharp or cutting on the other. Some reckon the nickname refers to his alleged baldness, but the concensus is generally behind the sharp/cutting/satirical meaning of the word. Gaelic Lom is possibly cognate both with the Cornish word lym (Welsh llym) in its sharp sense, and C. lom in its bald sense. One of the poems in GanS even has a wee tribute to 'Jowan Lym' as we might dub him; in Issue 5 under the headword 'obscurantist vocabulary' we have a nice little satire attributed to An Cragh-varthyk Lym. Some of Iain Lom's works may be read in translation on Wikipedia:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Iain_Lom
A typographical note: there are various points of view expressed in GanS; those of the Kemmynites are given in Sans Serif, while everybody elses' are in a Traditional Serif font. If your Web browser is set to override this, you'll see the whole thing in just your chosen font.
Tuesday, 28 November 2006
Arluth an Yethow ?!
A friend of ours, who's of a poetical turn of mind, created a Cornish adaptation of JRR Tolkien's famous stanza about the Rings of Power, in Lord of the Rings. Now, I wonder what sort of Cornish An Arluth Du favours, but somehow I fancy it ain't going to be one of the historically attested forms! Could just be what the Nazgûl speak, d'ya reckon? Puir wee Kemmynistas: what've they ever done to deserve these slings and arrows of outraged opponents?
Tyr yeth rag an Gernewyon yn-dan an nef,
Un rag an Arluth-du war y dron mor ef
Y'n vro Vordor le may groweth an skes
Un yeth dh'aga rewlya oll,
Un yeth dh'aga hafos-y,
Un yeth dh'aga dry oll hag y'n tewlder aga helmy
Y'n vro Vordor le may groweth an skes.
- - - ••• - - -
Three languages for the Cornishmen under the sky,
One for the Black Lord on his dark throne,
In the land of Mordor where the shadows lie.
One tongue to rule them all,
One tongue to find them,
One tongue to bring them all and in the darkness bind them,
In the land of Mordor where the shadows lie.
- - - ••• - - -
Un rag an Arluth-du war y dron mor ef
Y'n vro Vordor le may groweth an skes
Un yeth dh'aga rewlya oll,
Un yeth dh'aga hafos-y,
Un yeth dh'aga dry oll hag y'n tewlder aga helmy
Y'n vro Vordor le may groweth an skes.
- - - ••• - - -
Three languages for the Cornishmen under the sky,
One for the Black Lord on his dark throne,
In the land of Mordor where the shadows lie.
One tongue to rule them all,
One tongue to find them,
One tongue to bring them all and in the darkness bind them,
In the land of Mordor where the shadows lie.
- - - ••• - - -
(Our colleague, An Barthyk Dysbardhek, is away sulking jealously in a corner at the fact we're posting someone else's verse instead of his own, and that the Cornish is better than he can handle himself. We've tried telling him he's doing really well for someone who's only got up to Lesson 6 in Kernewek Bew, but to no avail. And that we'll publish some of his verse, as soon as he gets over his fit of the mullygrubs and puts pen to parchment again. Oh, lack-a-day -- the artistic temperament!)
- - - ••• - - -
Speaking of the Dead ...
Some while ago, I heard an apparent slip of the scriptwriter's pen on that classic sitcom, Waiting for God, the one set in a retirement home. One of the elderly inmates had just shuffled off his mortal coil; the waspish Diana (a sharp-tongued lassie after our own hearts!) made a disparaging remark about the deceased, and was chastised by her friend (and sparring partner) Tom. Thinking to caution her to 'speak no ill of the dead' he tried to show off his classical education by saying, "De mortuis nil bonum", but, having missed out the penultimate word, 'nisi' ('unless'), he actually said the opposite: 'Speak no good of the dead'!
This small anecdote came back to us recently as we thought on how the Kemmynistas enthusiastically traduce and defame the work of many of those who worked long and hard for the revival of Cornish, but have now passed on to the next stage of what the Gaels call 'the long and unknown road' (am bóthar fada gan eolas). There would have been no language revival without the lifelong labours of Henry Jenner, Morton Nance, 'Caradar' Smith, 'Talek' Hooper, P.A.S. Pool, George Pawley-White, Bryan Webb, Len Truran, Donald Rawe and a host of others. And their unforgivable offence? Why, to use a different form of spelling than that advocated by the KK Nazgûl and their cronies.
Of course, we could equally well coin a variant of that tag: De vivendis nil bonum, for their venom is aimed at the living just as much as at the dead. If I were of an heraldic turn of mind, the Latin misquote would do pretty well as a motto for that scabby crew of backstabbers:
This small anecdote came back to us recently as we thought on how the Kemmynistas enthusiastically traduce and defame the work of many of those who worked long and hard for the revival of Cornish, but have now passed on to the next stage of what the Gaels call 'the long and unknown road' (am bóthar fada gan eolas). There would have been no language revival without the lifelong labours of Henry Jenner, Morton Nance, 'Caradar' Smith, 'Talek' Hooper, P.A.S. Pool, George Pawley-White, Bryan Webb, Len Truran, Donald Rawe and a host of others. And their unforgivable offence? Why, to use a different form of spelling than that advocated by the KK Nazgûl and their cronies.
Of course, we could equally well coin a variant of that tag: De vivendis nil bonum, for their venom is aimed at the living just as much as at the dead. If I were of an heraldic turn of mind, the Latin misquote would do pretty well as a motto for that scabby crew of backstabbers:
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ __ _ _
KK:-- 'de mortuis vivendisque nil bonum'
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ __
KK:-- 'de mortuis vivendisque nil bonum'
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ __
Ju-jitsu pressure points in KK.
Practitioners of martial arts like ju-jitsu learn the 'pressure points' of the human body, that's to say, sensitive points where pressure will induce disabling pain. You could probably guess when someone's hit one of these by the victim's voice getting louder, and his movements getting rather frantic in response to the pain.
In a similar way, we can guess at the sensitive 'pressure points' for the Kemynistas by the volume of protest they give off, and a certain frantic quality coming into their utterances. For your delectation, here are a few suspected pressure points, that the Kemynistas seem to be sensitive to. It would, of course, be blatant sadism were I to suggest that anyone might actually try prodding them, just to see what happens; but I can'tl be held at all responsible for what you choose to do, now can I? Here are some factual statements that they really don't like:
• Kemyn came to power in 1987 by dishonest means, and has retained it in the same way ever since.
• The 1987 Truro meeting of the Cornish Language Board (in which they came to power) was rigged.
• The Kemynistas betrayed the trust of many great people, to whom all Cornish speakers owe a huge debt. Morton Nance and Caradar stand at the head of quite a long list of them. The KKists deny this debt has ever existed, just as they deny their treachery.
• Ken George's linguistic Ph.D. is sub-standard. His linguistic work is sub-standard, and is rejected by all academics in Celtic Studies Departments round the world.
• Celtic Studies academics are not worthy of contempt, simply because they unanimously reject George's work as shoddy.
• George's ideas only came to prominence because he was a small frog in a very small Cornish pond. If he'd tried his ideas in Wales or Brittany or the Scottish Gàidhealtachd he'd have been a ridiculed failure (than which his true current status is not a whit higher, in reality!).
• It does matter that Kemyn is not attested in the historical Cornish language texts. It does matter that, by contrast, all the other forms of Cornish are attested in the historical Cornish language texts. Thus, it is not a badge of shame to dub as 'Authentic' Unified Cornish (± Revised) and Late Cornish (± Revised), but rather is it a badge of pride. And it is a badge of shame that Kemyn can be accurately dubbed as being 'Inauthentic Cornish', 'Fake Cornish', 'Pseudo-Cornish' or 'Faux-Cornish'.
• There are scholars who are much better qualified than Ken George to deal with Cornish:
— Dr. Nicholas Williams is an outstanding Celticist, who is worthy of respect.
— Micheal Everson is an internationally renowned expert on typography and scripts, who is worthy of respect.
— My cats are wholly fluent both in their native Gourgathek dialect of Cornish, and in all the relevant parts of English, bar the word "No!" ... even they are more worthy or respect than George et al! And they're ansum, too!
• The Kemyn cabal have damaged the language Revival, and have made many people turn away from studying the language. The number of speakers has declined since they brought themselves to power in their 1987 Putsch.
• The Kemyn cabal has deliberately and repeatedly sabotaged language initiatives by supporters of the other forms of Cornish. They think more of their own self-aggrandisement that the good of the language movement as a whole.
• The number of Kemyn users is much lower than claimed by the Kemynistas. The number of non-Kemyn users is much higher than alleged by the Kemynistas.
• Similarly, the quality and number of Kemyn publications is much lower than claimed by the Kemynistas. This is especially true in their attempts at 'scholarly' books: near universal derision has been evoked in scholarly circles by George's Dictionaries, Brown's Grammar, the Kemyn New Testament and the Kemyn Bewnans Ke.
• The converse is true of non-Kemyn publications: they are both more numerous and of better quality than the Kemynistas are willing to admit.
• Those who have been taught Kemmny have been cynically duped into learning a flawed form of pseudo-Cornish. But you can't fool all the people all the time, and the scales will fall from their eyes in due course.
• Kernewek Kemyn will be looked back on by future generations as a failed experiment, like many other crack-pot linguistic 'revolutions' in history.
• Although the Kemynistas seem to enjoy saying horrid things to other people, they are much less keen on having such things said to them. With their revisionist version of recent history evident in their response, they cry, 'What have we ever done to you?'
In a similar way, we can guess at the sensitive 'pressure points' for the Kemynistas by the volume of protest they give off, and a certain frantic quality coming into their utterances. For your delectation, here are a few suspected pressure points, that the Kemynistas seem to be sensitive to. It would, of course, be blatant sadism were I to suggest that anyone might actually try prodding them, just to see what happens; but I can'tl be held at all responsible for what you choose to do, now can I? Here are some factual statements that they really don't like:
• Kemyn came to power in 1987 by dishonest means, and has retained it in the same way ever since.
• The 1987 Truro meeting of the Cornish Language Board (in which they came to power) was rigged.
• The Kemynistas betrayed the trust of many great people, to whom all Cornish speakers owe a huge debt. Morton Nance and Caradar stand at the head of quite a long list of them. The KKists deny this debt has ever existed, just as they deny their treachery.
• Ken George's linguistic Ph.D. is sub-standard. His linguistic work is sub-standard, and is rejected by all academics in Celtic Studies Departments round the world.
• Celtic Studies academics are not worthy of contempt, simply because they unanimously reject George's work as shoddy.
• George's ideas only came to prominence because he was a small frog in a very small Cornish pond. If he'd tried his ideas in Wales or Brittany or the Scottish Gàidhealtachd he'd have been a ridiculed failure (than which his true current status is not a whit higher, in reality!).
• It does matter that Kemyn is not attested in the historical Cornish language texts. It does matter that, by contrast, all the other forms of Cornish are attested in the historical Cornish language texts. Thus, it is not a badge of shame to dub as 'Authentic' Unified Cornish (± Revised) and Late Cornish (± Revised), but rather is it a badge of pride. And it is a badge of shame that Kemyn can be accurately dubbed as being 'Inauthentic Cornish', 'Fake Cornish', 'Pseudo-Cornish' or 'Faux-Cornish'.
• There are scholars who are much better qualified than Ken George to deal with Cornish:
— Dr. Nicholas Williams is an outstanding Celticist, who is worthy of respect.
— Micheal Everson is an internationally renowned expert on typography and scripts, who is worthy of respect.
— My cats are wholly fluent both in their native Gourgathek dialect of Cornish, and in all the relevant parts of English, bar the word "No!" ... even they are more worthy or respect than George et al! And they're ansum, too!
• The Kemyn cabal have damaged the language Revival, and have made many people turn away from studying the language. The number of speakers has declined since they brought themselves to power in their 1987 Putsch.
• The Kemyn cabal has deliberately and repeatedly sabotaged language initiatives by supporters of the other forms of Cornish. They think more of their own self-aggrandisement that the good of the language movement as a whole.
• The number of Kemyn users is much lower than claimed by the Kemynistas. The number of non-Kemyn users is much higher than alleged by the Kemynistas.
• Similarly, the quality and number of Kemyn publications is much lower than claimed by the Kemynistas. This is especially true in their attempts at 'scholarly' books: near universal derision has been evoked in scholarly circles by George's Dictionaries, Brown's Grammar, the Kemyn New Testament and the Kemyn Bewnans Ke.
• The converse is true of non-Kemyn publications: they are both more numerous and of better quality than the Kemynistas are willing to admit.
• Those who have been taught Kemmny have been cynically duped into learning a flawed form of pseudo-Cornish. But you can't fool all the people all the time, and the scales will fall from their eyes in due course.
• Kernewek Kemyn will be looked back on by future generations as a failed experiment, like many other crack-pot linguistic 'revolutions' in history.
• Although the Kemynistas seem to enjoy saying horrid things to other people, they are much less keen on having such things said to them. With their revisionist version of recent history evident in their response, they cry, 'What have we ever done to you?'
Monday, 27 November 2006
Language Regulation: Authoritarianism vs. Democracy
Henry Fowler was a noted lexicographer of English in the early 20th century; he was editor of the first Concise Oxford English Dictionary and author of Modern English Usage, both of which have been continuously in print and updated ever since. Despite his expertise, he was under no illusions that he could dictate to English speakers what they must say and write. Language, he said, is a demodratic affair and everyone gets their say (including himself, of course). Influence not authority was his watchword, and in that he has succeeded for almost a century, and has guided several generations of English speakers around the world.
In France, they do things a little differently, at least on the surface. The Académie Française issues authoritative pronouncements on the language, and the government passes laws restricting the use of anglicismes, but the public blithely ignores all this and does more or less what it pleases. A good example is the fate of that wonder of British inventiveness, the hovercraft. When first introduced into France, the public were delighted with Le Hovercraft, while the Académie was appalled at this racially inferior bit of vocab. After profound cogitation, they came out with La Machine à Coussin d'Air (The Machine with a Cushion of Air), which the proles were strangely reluctant to have tripping off their tongues. Faced with this linguistic 'lead balloon', the Académie finally came up with Aéroglisseur (Aeroslider) which was much more acceptable (and is arguably even better than the original English word!)
Similarly, there are a number of international bodies which try to coordinate and regulate the development of the German language in Germany, Austria and Switzerland. I'm not sure, but I don't think even the Germans are prepared to put up with too much in the way of high-handed diktats from these people. Certainly, the recent spelling reforms have met with sustained and bitter opposition from many members of the German-speaking public (even though they were much less extreme than those introduced by George and Co. with Kernowek Kemyn
The Welsh seem to take a more enlightened attitude to all this. The definitive Welsh dictionary (Geiriadur Prifysgol Cymru) is full of loan-words (mostly from English, of course), and there's a continuing series of booklets of specialised vocabulary from the Terminology Committee (Pwyllgor y Termau). All these make recommendations rather than try to lay down the law. For the Welsh, it seems to be less a matter of Linguistic Correctness, and more one of using an appropriate style in what you write and say. The attempt to offer a compromise form of the language in the 1960s and '70s (Cymraeg Byw - Living Welsh) was largely a failure; the Welsh-speaking population ignored it, and learners were the only ones who used it. The movement was successful in encouraging the creation of copious new learning materials, but it's now just a footnote in the history of the language.
By contrast, here in Cornish, we have the KK Kommissars of the Kesva (the so-called Kesvapo) laying down the law to those who use Kemyn (the 'Perfect Cornish' as they've called it), and using every underhand trick in the book to try and traduce and destroy all the other forms of Cornish. They have indeed done damage to the Revival, despite their repeated denials to the contrary, but they have—unsurprisingly—failed to suppress growing dissent, even amongst their own followers. One has to wonder if the KK experiment will end up like that of Cymraeg Byw; could it be that in time it'll be looked back on not as 'Kemyn Bew'—but as Kemyn Marow? :)
Interestingly enough, a browse through the archives of CornishOrthography (http://groups.yahoo.com/group/cornishorthography/messages) shows how fixated many of the KKists are with 'authority'; it seems as if their world-view centres on this concept, as if they have a collective dose of folie de puissance. This partly explains why the KK apparatchiki are so relentlessly opposed to all the other forms of Cornish. They don't have any 'authority' over them, real or imagined. Of course, any 'authority' they believe they have over the KK faithful is only illusory (in the Buddhist/Hindu sense of maya), as is the whole top-down, authoritarian structure that is the World of Kenewek, but they are quite blind to that reality.
There's a cautionary note to this tale that should be considered by those who are currently advocating orthographic change for the Cornish language. Unified Cornish Revised and the forthcoming Single Written Form can only be paradigms or examples for people to follow—their advocates will have no authority whatsoever to dictate what will be, although they may well be influential and persuasive if their ideas are good. The Kemyn Kabal made this mistake, and still make it to this day; others must not repeat it!
In France, they do things a little differently, at least on the surface. The Académie Française issues authoritative pronouncements on the language, and the government passes laws restricting the use of anglicismes, but the public blithely ignores all this and does more or less what it pleases. A good example is the fate of that wonder of British inventiveness, the hovercraft. When first introduced into France, the public were delighted with Le Hovercraft, while the Académie was appalled at this racially inferior bit of vocab. After profound cogitation, they came out with La Machine à Coussin d'Air (The Machine with a Cushion of Air), which the proles were strangely reluctant to have tripping off their tongues. Faced with this linguistic 'lead balloon', the Académie finally came up with Aéroglisseur (Aeroslider) which was much more acceptable (and is arguably even better than the original English word!)
Similarly, there are a number of international bodies which try to coordinate and regulate the development of the German language in Germany, Austria and Switzerland. I'm not sure, but I don't think even the Germans are prepared to put up with too much in the way of high-handed diktats from these people. Certainly, the recent spelling reforms have met with sustained and bitter opposition from many members of the German-speaking public (even though they were much less extreme than those introduced by George and Co. with Kernowek Kemyn
The Welsh seem to take a more enlightened attitude to all this. The definitive Welsh dictionary (Geiriadur Prifysgol Cymru) is full of loan-words (mostly from English, of course), and there's a continuing series of booklets of specialised vocabulary from the Terminology Committee (Pwyllgor y Termau). All these make recommendations rather than try to lay down the law. For the Welsh, it seems to be less a matter of Linguistic Correctness, and more one of using an appropriate style in what you write and say. The attempt to offer a compromise form of the language in the 1960s and '70s (Cymraeg Byw - Living Welsh) was largely a failure; the Welsh-speaking population ignored it, and learners were the only ones who used it. The movement was successful in encouraging the creation of copious new learning materials, but it's now just a footnote in the history of the language.
By contrast, here in Cornish, we have the KK Kommissars of the Kesva (the so-called Kesvapo) laying down the law to those who use Kemyn (the 'Perfect Cornish' as they've called it), and using every underhand trick in the book to try and traduce and destroy all the other forms of Cornish. They have indeed done damage to the Revival, despite their repeated denials to the contrary, but they have—unsurprisingly—failed to suppress growing dissent, even amongst their own followers. One has to wonder if the KK experiment will end up like that of Cymraeg Byw; could it be that in time it'll be looked back on not as 'Kemyn Bew'—but as Kemyn Marow? :)
"Tremblez! Vos projets parricides / Vont enfin recevoir leurs prix!"
as it says grandiloquently in the Marseillaise.
(Tremble! Your parricidal projects / Will gain at last their just rewards!)
as it says grandiloquently in the Marseillaise.
(Tremble! Your parricidal projects / Will gain at last their just rewards!)
Interestingly enough, a browse through the archives of CornishOrthography (http://groups.yahoo.com/group/cornishorthography/messages) shows how fixated many of the KKists are with 'authority'; it seems as if their world-view centres on this concept, as if they have a collective dose of folie de puissance. This partly explains why the KK apparatchiki are so relentlessly opposed to all the other forms of Cornish. They don't have any 'authority' over them, real or imagined. Of course, any 'authority' they believe they have over the KK faithful is only illusory (in the Buddhist/Hindu sense of maya), as is the whole top-down, authoritarian structure that is the World of Kenewek, but they are quite blind to that reality.
There's a cautionary note to this tale that should be considered by those who are currently advocating orthographic change for the Cornish language. Unified Cornish Revised and the forthcoming Single Written Form can only be paradigms or examples for people to follow—their advocates will have no authority whatsoever to dictate what will be, although they may well be influential and persuasive if their ideas are good. The Kemyn Kabal made this mistake, and still make it to this day; others must not repeat it!
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