grammar book (GanS 2)

An instrument of torture written by one who takes no joy in a language, to spoil the fun of those who do. Alternately, a method of preserving a language for post-mortem study by sucking all the juice out of it, thereby rendering it inedible to all but the scholastic palate.

It serves equally well to torment young and old alike, although it has been the especial bane of untold generations of school children (UNESCO is to call for a global ban of its Latin incarnations). The great Ambrose Bierce himself likens it to 'a system of pitfalls thoughtfully prepared for the feet of the self-made man' [op. cit.].

The centipede was happy till
A grammarist in pique
said, 'Pray, which word comes after which?'
This worked her up to such a pitch
She lay distracted in a ditch,
Considering how to speak.

from ''Das ist m'nure", pace Herr Dyhanow (floruit ca. 1930).