Wednesday, 29 November 2006

wiled boar (GanS 1)

A member of the Cornish species Porcus vulgaris kemyniensis, known to our native naturalists as Hogh cos kemyn. The beast is noted for animal wiliness rather than true intelligence, and when cornered (or in a feeding frenzy) has a tendency to incoherent glossolalia. At such times, its spelling (never one of its strong points) tends to deteriorate into polyglot illegibility, with an accompanying decline in lexical competence.

The species' range was formerly more extensive than at present, but it is currently in decline due to the ecological damage caused by its own indiscriminate predation (it will not tolerate the presence of any related commensal species within its territory, especially the more vigorous hybrids such as the several gregarious sub-species of Porcus cornubiloquens authenticus).

Moreover, its tenuous grasp on reality means it is ill suited to adapt to a rapidly changing environment. It is likely that only emergency measures from the World Wiled-lies Fund (WWlF) might save the species from eventual extinction.

Hogh kemyn was a hungry beast,
Who ate his neighbours as a feast;
But his voracious appetite
Has brought him to his parlous plight.

He's eaten all his friends, and those
He might've thought of as his foes,
Ignoring that, unfriends and brothers,
We each depend on all the others.

When no sister guards your back,
And no unfriends take up the slack,
You must rely on on your own wit
And if that fails, you're in the …KAK.*

An Cragh-varth Methek (2006)

(* KAK refers to the author's earlier satirical 'Modest Proposal' for reforming the Cornish Language: Kernowek Amendys Kemyn (KAK), which has been reprinted here.)

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