obscurantist vocabulary (see 'pond') (GanS 5)

Back in the 'good old days' (before it was republished in a memorial edition, and so became available to the 'common masses'), Morton Nance's 1938 Dictionary Gerlyver Noweth Kernewek ha Saswnek was rather a scarce (and costly) volume.

There were those of the KK® persuasion who— owning copies of the book themselves—sought to impress upon their copyless brethren and sistren the awe-inspiring incomprehensibility of their lexical erudition by using wee wordies that were only found in that dictionary. Alas (or so an ydhnyk byghan tells us), one uppity proletarian Prometheus obtained and studied a samizdat copy of the '38' and confounded one of the 'Olympians' at their own game.

This is a true story, although names have been veiled.

There was an elder Billy-goat, with coat of balding Brown,
Who thought to strut his lexicon in good old Saltash town.
With wordies rare and recondite, he was an awesome feller,
Until he met a lad who'd read the same Gerlyver. Well, er …

… When the two began to talk, the old 'un said, 'I ken
The sorts of word ye've never heard, nor never will again.
I am the most amazing of the modern Kernywekkers,
And I'll impress and overawe you rude, unlettered feckers!'

But the younger cousin Jack, though wet behind the ear,
Had read old Nance's early books, was sharp, and knew no fear.
He spoke the kind of Cornish that the codger couldn't twig, or
Follow, as his words got faster, more obscure …and bigger!

The more he spake, the more he lost this low-browed Kemmynista,
Whose Cornish comprehension was too poor to get the gist. A
Crowd had gathered round them, smiles and laughter did arise,
As this elder's bloated ego popped – ! – right before their eyes!

The moral of this story can't be very hard to reckon:
If you want to sound impressive, you must have the best 'lexecon',
Your intellect and trousers must be lacking perforation,
Or you'll expose your backside to public humiliation.

'The Sharp Lad and the Billy-goat Brown', An Cragh-varthyk Lym, 2006.
to the tune of 'The Modern Major General,' Gilbert & Sullivan.