A delightful form of nutrition intended to assist the progress of the Revival of the Cornish language. As Kemyn is the Cornish language, this money is a priori intended to assist the progress of Kemyn. Hence, it is not fitting that any of the other degenerate forms of the language should receive any of this funding, which is why we've repeatedly banjaxed their applications to get any. There are two possible outcomes to such banjaxment:
(a) we get the money and they don't: fantastic! Puts us ahead of the pack.
Money = Power! … or
(b) nobody gets the money: still tantastic enough! Puts us ahead of the pack.
Dog in the manger = Power!
Our typical statement to the grant-awarding Sugar Daddies/Mammies has often gone a long way to getting us the desired outcome: —
"These Agan Tavas/Cussel an Tavaz Kernûak people are a bunch of troublemakers and devious, lying little shit-bags [thanks to Myngow Vras (op.cit) for this revelation! Ed.] who are not endorsed by the Official Bodies for the language, like the The Cornish Language Board."
And when you're 'the biggest frog in the puddle' [at least, in your own mind's eye. Ed.], it doesn't matter if the puddle shrinks, and most of the other frogs croak it: you're still biggest!
Saturday, 23 December 2006
Some trends in the Revival (GanS 8)
It may be useful to take a quick look at the fate of some of the Cornish language organisations, and see what's happened to them over the last few decades. This may help us to look ahead to what may develop with the Single Written Form, always bearing in mind the Danish proverb which says, 'Prediction is always difficult, but especially predicting the future'. Don'cha just love that under-stated Norse humour!
a. Kesva an Tavas ['Taves' in KK] Kernewek.
A body established in 1967 by Gorseth Kernow and the Federation of Old Cornwall Societies to promote the Cornish language, and all its speakers. In 1987, as detailed elsewhere in these pages, it was taken over by the Kernewek Kemyn coterie in their 'deniable' Truro Putsch, after which the organisation's policy was altered so that it only supported KK, and it actively tried to suppress all the other forms of the language. This change was reflected in the respelling of the body's name into Kemyn (Tavas –> Taves). These acts of sly treachery are something that their protagonists have tried to cover up ever since, with incomplete success, just as they've tried to cover up their later misdeeds.
b. Kowethas an Yeth Kernewek.
The Cornish Language Fellowship, Kowethas an Yeth Kernewek, was originally set up—like the Kesva—to support all Cornish speakers, However, like its sister organisation, it too was taken over and subverted in a similar way to the Kesva. At present, it is deliberately misleading about its policy towards non-Kemyn forms of the language: while it claims to support all forms of Cornish, the only one it actually supports is Kemyn, under the threadbare excuse that 'that is the form used by the majority of members'. All other forms of Cornish are marginalised, and are not printed in their magazine, An Gannas, or allowed to feature in any of their events or on any of their products or publications. These other forms are thus demoted into unofficial, lesser languages of hearth and home; even their very existence is denied: "Oh, nobody really uses that old stuff anymore".
c. Agan Tavas.
Agan Tavas was founded in 1987 for fluent speakers of Unified Cornish, but later widened its initial remit so as to support and promote all historically attested forms of the language. It is quite open about its views on the language: it does not support KK, or any other invented version of 'Cornish'. It actually does support and promote all these forms of the language, rather than just paying false lip-service to them. It is able and willing to do this, even if some of those forms are not those 'used by the majority of members', in sharp contrast to the Kowethas and its weasel-worded statements.
d. Towards the Single Written Form.
Interestingly enough, we tend to find that the followers of these historically-attested forms of the language are mostly able to coexist and cooperate. Why, even some of the followers of KK seem perhaps to have found a new spirit of compromise and a willingness to talk. Mind you, I don't know what their KK Kemynocrats will have to say about those seditiously democratic rumblings.
Gosh!—if everything goes all 'sweetness and light',
. . . and people start being nice to each other,
. . . I'd be out of a job, and that'd be catastrophic :(
. . . but then so'd the Kemynocrats as well!
:) :) :)
a. Kesva an Tavas ['Taves' in KK] Kernewek.
A body established in 1967 by Gorseth Kernow and the Federation of Old Cornwall Societies to promote the Cornish language, and all its speakers. In 1987, as detailed elsewhere in these pages, it was taken over by the Kernewek Kemyn coterie in their 'deniable' Truro Putsch, after which the organisation's policy was altered so that it only supported KK, and it actively tried to suppress all the other forms of the language. This change was reflected in the respelling of the body's name into Kemyn (Tavas –> Taves). These acts of sly treachery are something that their protagonists have tried to cover up ever since, with incomplete success, just as they've tried to cover up their later misdeeds.
b. Kowethas an Yeth Kernewek.
The Cornish Language Fellowship, Kowethas an Yeth Kernewek, was originally set up—like the Kesva—to support all Cornish speakers, However, like its sister organisation, it too was taken over and subverted in a similar way to the Kesva. At present, it is deliberately misleading about its policy towards non-Kemyn forms of the language: while it claims to support all forms of Cornish, the only one it actually supports is Kemyn, under the threadbare excuse that 'that is the form used by the majority of members'. All other forms of Cornish are marginalised, and are not printed in their magazine, An Gannas, or allowed to feature in any of their events or on any of their products or publications. These other forms are thus demoted into unofficial, lesser languages of hearth and home; even their very existence is denied: "Oh, nobody really uses that old stuff anymore".
c. Agan Tavas.
Agan Tavas was founded in 1987 for fluent speakers of Unified Cornish, but later widened its initial remit so as to support and promote all historically attested forms of the language. It is quite open about its views on the language: it does not support KK, or any other invented version of 'Cornish'. It actually does support and promote all these forms of the language, rather than just paying false lip-service to them. It is able and willing to do this, even if some of those forms are not those 'used by the majority of members', in sharp contrast to the Kowethas and its weasel-worded statements.
d. Towards the Single Written Form.
Interestingly enough, we tend to find that the followers of these historically-attested forms of the language are mostly able to coexist and cooperate. Why, even some of the followers of KK seem perhaps to have found a new spirit of compromise and a willingness to talk. Mind you, I don't know what their KK Kemynocrats will have to say about those seditiously democratic rumblings.
Gosh!—if everything goes all 'sweetness and light',
. . . and people start being nice to each other,
. . . I'd be out of a job, and that'd be catastrophic :(
. . . but then so'd the Kemynocrats as well!
:) :) :)
Fake languages: a salutory tale (GanS 8)
The annals of Schloß Kolditz show that the 'bad boys' imprisoned there had one thing high on their minds (after Escape) to stave off boredom: study. One young inmate announced that, as China would surely emerge into prominence after the War, he wanted to learn Chinese. Two of his friends volunteered to share with him their expertise in the language, and 2-on-1 classes started soon after. But, alas, these 'friends' were nought but vile tricksters who had not a word of Chinese between them, but instead taught the poor gull a made-up mish-mash of quasi-oriental sounds. They had not, however, reckoned with the hunger for learning that burned within their young student's breast, and they found themselves having to create faux-Chinese at an ever faster rate (and, of course, to learn it all themselves as well!). After a while, it all became too much for the sly pair, they made their excuses and terminated the classes.
Sadly, the end of the story has not apparently come down to us; we can only imagine in our mind's eye the young Sinophile returning to his Chinese studies after the war, and his reaction when he realised that his 'friends' had duped him so wickedly: his wrath might have been a wonder to behold!
which sure don't sound as if he likes the prospect of these 'outside experts' scrutinising KK; why on Earth would he be afraid of impartial scrutiny? Even though he does feel the need to peddle his Big Lies "over and over till [he's] blue in the face", we feel inclined to believe his sincerity this time … well, almost. Let's just hope that all that cyanosis that he refers to (and the accompanying anoxia of which a blue face is a symptom) doesn't cause any further demise amongst his remaining leetle grey cells. Goodness knows he can't spare them!
Sadly, the end of the story has not apparently come down to us; we can only imagine in our mind's eye the young Sinophile returning to his Chinese studies after the war, and his reaction when he realised that his 'friends' had duped him so wickedly: his wrath might have been a wonder to behold!
Happily though, we may not have to 'imagine in our mind's eye' for much longer; we may soon see exactly how he would have reacted, and on a much larger scale at that. I wonder what the reactions would be of all those poor dupes (who've been conned by the Kemynistas into learning the faux-Cornish that is Kemyn) were the scales to fall from their eyes. The old saw has it that you can't fool all the people all the time … but, who knows? —time does have a habit of making fools of us all. But even some of KK's own apparatchiki may have seen the writing on the wall; Myngow Vras, eponymous stranger to the truth that he is, has said this of the meetings at Tremough,
"We know the result in advance, an orthography designed by committee that's suppose [sic] to please everyone and will please no-one. Twice I've been to Tremogh, and twice I've been told in advance what I've decided [?]. So I can see how this is going to go."
[CornishOrthography # 2754, 22-11-06]
[CornishOrthography # 2754, 22-11-06]
Thursday, 21 December 2006
One Guru to guide them all ...
We have mentioned elsewhere the authoritarian, top-down style of control that governs the Wonderful World of Kenowek Kemyn. Here's one small example of it in action, that was found on Ray Edwards' Kernewek Dre Lyther site. Here we have a man of mature years, who has been running the KDL system for a long time, in Unified Cornish at first before he turned his loyalties towards Kemyn. He says,
'Ken is ... envisaging the possibility of introducing z where there is a tendency to voice the s sound.'
Thus, nothing may be done until the Arch-Guru of Kemyn pronounces on His Envisagements. Still, to put his weltanschauung into perspective, on the same page he also mentions:
"... people liked and trusted Ken and appreciated the enormous amount of work he had put into trying to sort the matter out ..."
"... the sincerity of Ken George and other members of the Language Board ..."
Disingenuous, or merely ingenuous? Sure enough, it's a revisionist view of history that's not shared by most of the Cornish speakers that we know, none of whom would trust 'Likeable & Trustworthy' Ken or the 'Sincere' Kesva an inch! Given their dubious actions within the Cornish Language Revival over the last couple of decades or so, that's hardly surprising.
So, a fragment of evidence of the top-down authoritarianism of the KK world. Contrast this with the rest of the Cornish speakers, who --while they manage to cohere-- do so in a much more democratic, disputatious, even anarchic sort of way. Which is just how it should be, and is just how it's done in, say, the English-speaking world, where there is a long history of either ignoring the pronouncements of crackpot skylgerydhyon, linguistic charlatans and orthographical mountebanks, or at most exposing them to ridicule, satire and oblivion. Why, even the respected lexicographers of the likes of the Oxford University Dictionary are not taken as the final, undisputed word on the language.
We call to mind from the 1920s the almost forgotten Shavian Phonetic English of that other 'great' George, GB Shaw, as well as the 19th-century minor poet William Barnes and his Pure English (with its ludicrous 'welkinfire' and 'wortlore' for 'meteor' and 'botany'). How long will it be, we wonder, before Ken George's Kenowek Kemyn joins them and assumes its rightful place --as a small footnote in the history of the Cornish Language Revival (and as a cautionary tale of the dangers of ignorant meddling with languages)?
'Ken is ... envisaging the possibility of introducing z where there is a tendency to voice the s sound.'
Thus, nothing may be done until the Arch-Guru of Kemyn pronounces on His Envisagements. Still, to put his weltanschauung into perspective, on the same page he also mentions:
"... people liked and trusted Ken and appreciated the enormous amount of work he had put into trying to sort the matter out ..."
"... the sincerity of Ken George and other members of the Language Board ..."
Disingenuous, or merely ingenuous? Sure enough, it's a revisionist view of history that's not shared by most of the Cornish speakers that we know, none of whom would trust 'Likeable & Trustworthy' Ken or the 'Sincere' Kesva an inch! Given their dubious actions within the Cornish Language Revival over the last couple of decades or so, that's hardly surprising.
So, a fragment of evidence of the top-down authoritarianism of the KK world. Contrast this with the rest of the Cornish speakers, who --while they manage to cohere-- do so in a much more democratic, disputatious, even anarchic sort of way. Which is just how it should be, and is just how it's done in, say, the English-speaking world, where there is a long history of either ignoring the pronouncements of crackpot skylgerydhyon, linguistic charlatans and orthographical mountebanks, or at most exposing them to ridicule, satire and oblivion. Why, even the respected lexicographers of the likes of the Oxford University Dictionary are not taken as the final, undisputed word on the language.
We call to mind from the 1920s the almost forgotten Shavian Phonetic English of that other 'great' George, GB Shaw, as well as the 19th-century minor poet William Barnes and his Pure English (with its ludicrous 'welkinfire' and 'wortlore' for 'meteor' and 'botany'). How long will it be, we wonder, before Ken George's Kenowek Kemyn joins them and assumes its rightful place --as a small footnote in the history of the Cornish Language Revival (and as a cautionary tale of the dangers of ignorant meddling with languages)?
Wednesday, 20 December 2006
Modern (=Revived=KK) Cornish revisited (yet again!)
Just as the leopard can be relied on to be spotty, there's something almost reassuring in seeing Myngow Vras trotting out his tired old Big Fibs once more. In a recent post to Cornish Orthography (#3183) about Nicholas Williams' Towards Authentic Cornish, our lemur-loving laddie had the following to say:
The sections of the book relating to ... Wella Brown's standard [sic!] Grammar of Modern (i.e. Revived) Cornish, provide helpful notes ... Williams, unlike Edwards, is not attempting to improve the range and accuracy of Revived Cornish, but rather to undermine the whole enterprise, presenting every little 'error' and misuse as proof that Revived Cornish, at least when clothed in the Kernewek Kemmyn orthography, is mistaken. Which amounts to saying that almost the entire corpus of contempory Cornish is worthless.
One must conclude therefore that the entire enterprise is little more than a c300 pp 'poison pen' letter. Williams has almost nothing new to say on the subject of Cornish phonology and orthography, and has simply set out to rubbish Ken George, Kesva an Taves Kernewek and by implication most of those currently active in the Cornish Language Revival ...
Now, let's just look at the 'semantic drift' in that excerpt, with all of the following quotes referring to the same thing, namely Kernewek Kemyn:
• Modern (i.e. Revived) Cornish
• Revived Cornish
• Revived Cornish, at least when clothed in the Kernewek Kemmyn [sic] orthography
• almost the entire corpus of contemporary Cornish
• most of those currently active in the Cornish Language Revival
Thus, KK = Modern Cornish = Revived Cornish = most of the Language Revival etc. etc. etc.
This method of argument is quite reminiscent of that old school trick of proving that black=white by incrementally changing the meaning of the each of the two words until they meet in the middle somewhere. Or should we call it the 'Chinese Whispers' form of argument perhaps? Is it possible that the poor chap doesn't realise his arguments are as full of holes as a piece of gruyère cheese? I don't know for sure, but if his logical powers are as flawed as his linguistic ones, it is just about possible. Consider the following lovely items of orthography from one with such forcefully expressed opinions on matters orthographical:
• unwarrented
• denegrates
• ad nausiam
• repetedly
• fouth [i.e. 4th]
• monothong [evidently a skimpy item of swim-wear rather than a linguistic matter]
• contempory
And even thought he can't spell his own first tongue properly, he expects us to take his linguistical pronouncements seriously? Still, it might help explain why he was attracted in the first place to the orthographically challenged form of pseudo-Cornish that George and his acolytes have been peddling for the last couple of decades:
The sections of the book relating to ... Wella Brown's standard [sic!] Grammar of Modern (i.e. Revived) Cornish, provide helpful notes ... Williams, unlike Edwards, is not attempting to improve the range and accuracy of Revived Cornish, but rather to undermine the whole enterprise, presenting every little 'error' and misuse as proof that Revived Cornish, at least when clothed in the Kernewek Kemmyn orthography, is mistaken. Which amounts to saying that almost the entire corpus of contempory Cornish is worthless.
One must conclude therefore that the entire enterprise is little more than a c300 pp 'poison pen' letter. Williams has almost nothing new to say on the subject of Cornish phonology and orthography, and has simply set out to rubbish Ken George, Kesva an Taves Kernewek and by implication most of those currently active in the Cornish Language Revival ...
Now, let's just look at the 'semantic drift' in that excerpt, with all of the following quotes referring to the same thing, namely Kernewek Kemyn:
• Modern (i.e. Revived) Cornish
• Revived Cornish
• Revived Cornish, at least when clothed in the Kernewek Kemmyn [sic] orthography
• almost the entire corpus of contemporary Cornish
• most of those currently active in the Cornish Language Revival
Thus, KK = Modern Cornish = Revived Cornish = most of the Language Revival etc. etc. etc.
This method of argument is quite reminiscent of that old school trick of proving that black=white by incrementally changing the meaning of the each of the two words until they meet in the middle somewhere. Or should we call it the 'Chinese Whispers' form of argument perhaps? Is it possible that the poor chap doesn't realise his arguments are as full of holes as a piece of gruyère cheese? I don't know for sure, but if his logical powers are as flawed as his linguistic ones, it is just about possible. Consider the following lovely items of orthography from one with such forcefully expressed opinions on matters orthographical:
• unwarrented
• denegrates
• ad nausiam
• repetedly
• fouth [i.e. 4th]
• monothong [evidently a skimpy item of swim-wear rather than a linguistic matter]
• contempory
And even thought he can't spell his own first tongue properly, he expects us to take his linguistical pronouncements seriously? Still, it might help explain why he was attracted in the first place to the orthographically challenged form of pseudo-Cornish that George and his acolytes have been peddling for the last couple of decades:
just as 'misery loves company', so evidently do bad spellers!
Imitation is the sincerest form of flattery
fig.1 Surely Merv Davey, Pyber an Orseth, can't be an Piper Discrissick?
Or has his likeness been libellously taken in vain?
Or has his likeness been libellously taken in vain?
Quite a lot of pop groups have so-called 'tribute' bands, who play second-rate plagiarised versions of their hits, supposedly in 'tribute' to the Great Ones (although you can bet that not much 'danegeld' changes hands).
Even the humble bloggist is not immune to this species of sycophantic groupy. A 'tribute' web-site was announced recently on CornishOrthography (#3140) under the lexicographically challenged pseudo-pseudonym of 'an Piper Diskrissick' (Oh! –our aching ribs!), with the subject tag, 'An Gweeas Internet noweth an Piper Discrissick'. Alas, after having had an intoxicating burst of mispelling one of our names, his muse seems to have gone AWOL, as the site is almost bare of content!
This purports to come from a pseudonymous 'new' member of the group, one 'sarazin2007', who joined just the day before posting his/her/its first message.
By the by, we notice that 'torontosteve' aka 'brocher2001' has kept his promise (as mentioned in a previous article) and departed from the group, in that not one single trace of him remains in the list of members. But we have a suspicion that he has emerged from his lair under a new persona. Now, we appreciate that it's a dodgy job trying to guess who's behind the masks of online 'avatars' (has not one of us been oh-so-confidently identified as at least 3 separate people (all males, at that!) at various times?). But let's note the following points of circumstantial interest:
• the two noms de guerre are rather similar: brocher2001 and sarazin2007, which shows the lack of imagination we would expect from El Disparecido,
• one disappears from the members' list just as t'other appears –poof!– like the villain in a mediaeval melodrama,
• the pseudo-site is hosted at www.geocities.com/brocher2001/, which suggests that, if not one and the same person, the two 'dear boys' are abnormally intimate with each other,
•it's also hosted at the rather grandiosely addressed www.cornish-language.com, and the choice of this URL shows the same self-important egotism we came to associate with the 'dear departed' brocher2001.
• 'sarazin2007' doesn't like using lots of words; apart from URLs, his first 3 messages are 5, 3 and 10 words long. Brocher2001 was also sparing with words, perhaps because of his linguistic/intellectual difficulties described below. As we've seen in the past, brocher2001 shows impatience when faced with challenging linguistical phe-nom-en-a like:
– long words,
– lots of words (even short ones), as in sentences (or posts) longer than a few words,
– words used to form a logical, coherent argument,
– words used to denote abstract concepts,
– words used in humour, mockery or satire,
– words used to disagree with him,
– words used to criticise Kernewek Kemyn.
– words in foreign languages (such as Cornish and English)
• the brocher2001/sarazin2007 site is very sparing with its content to boot; in a similar way, many of brocher2001's posts were content free.
Just as 'torontosteve/brocher2001' had problems with language, so too does 'sarazin2007' seem to be similarly challenged:
(1) Vocabulary:
• 'gweeas' for website, when the word actually means 'web' (if we've correctly interpreted his dyslexic orthography, that is); 'website' would normally have the '-va' suffix denoting a place; thus, in his idiolectal spelling, he should have said 'gweeasva'.
• similarly for 'Internet': LCR uses 'An Gwiaz' for 'The Internet', so presumably the other versions of the language might use that word as well. It does seem a tad feeble just to use the English word au naturel, and make no attempt to Kernify it. A quick look at the Nance '52 gives us:
• between = 'yntra' before vowels, 'ynter' before consonants
• net = 'ros'
• so even the ad hoc calque *yntraros or *ynter-ros should be preferable to just using the English. Gosh, even An *Ynternet would be a slight improvement!
Surely even George's ghastly dictionaries should be equal to the task of providing pseudo-Cornish equivalents to this pair of basic lemmas.
(2) Syntax:
• reduplicated definite article à l'Anglaise in his genitive construction (oh, naughty boy!):
'an gweeas ... an piper ...'
for 'the web[site] ... of the piper', when every learner will have been told it should take the form:
'gweeas ... an piper'
with only a single article and, of course, proper spelling, e.g. 'gwyas An Pyber'.
Still, perhaps we should be grateful for small mercies: at least he didn't inflict on us the triple whammy of '*an gweeas an Internet an Piper ...' !
(3) Spelling:
• the UC spelling is 'gwyas', the LCR is 'gwiaz', and KK is 'gwias'. 'Gweeas' seems to be a home-brewed rendition. By contrast, he uses UC 'noweth', where LCR has 'nowedh' and KK 'nowydh'. While one can imagine there may be humourous intent in mispelling 'An Pyber Dyscryjyk' as he has ("an Piper Discrissick", with inconsistent capitalisation), it's difficult to see the fun in getting these two more mundane words messed up. We suspect he shares the dyslexia manifested on occasions by 'brocher2001'.
One final point that needs clarifying: we note with interest that the photograph of 'sarazin2007/Piper Discrissick' (shown on his profile page, and above in fig.1) appears to depict him as Pyber an Orseth, the official piper of Gorseth Kernow. In fact, it is recognisable as a photo of Merv Davey himself. Does this mean that the true identity of this plagiaristic piper has been revealed, or is sarazin2007 taking Mr. Davey's name in vain? Merv has always struck me as being an intelligent and articulate sort of person, quite unlike the linguistically challenged wee pissant that brocher2001/sarazin2007 has shown himself to be. One can only hope that a case for libel is not brought against our namesake!
Sunday, 17 December 2006
Lies, Damned Lies, & Capture-Recapture (GanS 8)
Ecologists have an ingenious method of estimating the population size of animals in the wild; it's called the Capture-Recapture technique, and, stripped to its basics, it goes something like this:
1— capture a sample of the population, count them, mark them and release them.
2— after they've had time to mingle with the rest of the population, catch some more.
3— tot up the proportion of marked individuals in this 2nd sample, do some simple arithmetic, and you've got your total population size.
Now, there's a pressing need for field studies on the Cornish-speaking population, so as to find out, amongst many other things, how many there are and what kind of Cornish they speak. This sort of data could be vital for planning the future of the Revival, and present information is largely anecdotal. However, with a modification of the ecologist's method we've just looked at, what we can do is explore the likely truth or falsity of some ot the statistical claims made by the Keministas about the supposedly 'huge' proportion of Cornish speakers who speak KK. The raw data is all anecdotal (on both sides), and our logic is not quite of the staunchest, but let's see what we find.
A qualitative estimate is given by Myngow Vras in his post (#2754) cited above, where he said,
"nearly everyone seriously interested in taking Cornish forward changed to KK 18 years ago. The only people who clung to Nance's UC were a few old fossils who wanted to stick to what they knew, whether it was historically correct or not …They have been peddeling [sic] their wares for years now, and nobody really wants to know."
In summary, KK is spoken by 'nearly everyone' except 'a few old fossils' and 'nobody really'.
Don'cha just love the way this pissant wee nyaff dismisses with contempt the likes of Nance, Caradar, Talek, Len Truran, Donald Rawe, George Pawley-White, Bryan Webb, Dick Gendall and the rest —great people who devote their lives to the Cornish Revival? And from him all they get is his contempt, just because they don't favour his chosen KK spelling? Ha! And as for 'historically correct'— oh, my aching ribs that such a slur should come from him, the most dyslexic of all KKists!
To corroborate this picture, we need some pretty overwhelming statistics. And we find them, too, in accounts given by two other prominent Kemynites. The figures we have are 92% from Tim Saunders, and 98% from 'torontosteve', as the proportion of KK speakers out of the entire population of Cornish speakers. These statements are on record in the archives of the CornishOrthography group.
This gives non-KK speakers a mere 8% or 2% of the total. A conservative under-estimate of the total number of non-KK speakers is at least 100 according to their organisers and teachers (it is likely to be higher than this, but let's see where these figures take us).
KK speakers = 92%, non-KK = 8%,
… gives us a total Cornish-speaking population = (100/8) x 100 = 1,250
…or, KK speakers = 98%, non-KK = 2%,
… gives us a total Cornish-speaking population = (100/2) x 100 = 5,000
Which means either:
(a) the number of Cornish speakers is considerably larger than anyone has dreamed,
… or …
(b) the Kemynistas' 'statistics' are fake.
Me, I'm plumping for (b), and for this being yet another example of the Big Lies and disinformation we've come to expect from that quarter.
Postscriptum 1:
'pietercharles' has provided us with some alternative statistics (#2710), where he says that KK "is used by everyone I know that speaks Cornish bar half a dozen people." Cranking this figure through our equation, we end up with this fascinating conclusion:
no. of 'known' non-KK speakers = 6
% of speakers using KK = 92% …or… 98%
therefore, total 'known' speakers of Cornish = (6/8) x 100 …or… (2/8) x 100
i.e. total 'known' speakers = 75 …or… 40 persons
Well, the '40–75' speakers this KKist's 'statistics' give us is a heck of a lot less than the '1,250–5,000' of them implied by the two KKists cited above. Of course, it may just mean that PC needs to get out and socialise a bit more, or perhaps that non-KK speakers tend to avoid him and his barbarous idiolect. But it still makes his figure of "6" simple disinformation, even if true. And we're supposed to trust what this lot say? Ha! They're revealed by their own words as being strangers to the truth, and as ones who can't even agree on what lies to tell!
Postscriptum 2:
Keith Bailey has offered us yet another set of 'statistics' (#787), saying that "the KK "faction" represents something between 60%-95% of serious Cornish users":
no. of non-KK speakers = 6
% of non-KK speakers = 40% to 5% (based on KB's figures)
therefore, total no. of 'serious' speakers of Cornish = 15 to 120 persons
Now, it could be that KB just sets such high standards for his Cornish that very few people qualify as 'serious', no matter which version of the language they use. But looking at the grave flaws in his own Cornish and English, this hypothesis only seems tenable if he sets much higher standards for others than he does for himself.
Or it could be that in his assessment of 'seriousness' he takes a neutral stance on other forms of Cornish, and passes equally impartial judgement on all. But his frequent ranting diatribes against all other forms of the language but the one he favours make this hypothesis seem pretty shaky as well. After all, 'old fossils', 'troublemakers' and 'devious lying little shit-bags' wouldn't merit any impartiality, would they?
As regards his numbers, this guy's got a science Ph.D, which really had to have some maths in it. So you know you he's got to be numerate, and you should be able to take his stats without sniggering. But ya gotta love his weaselly confidence limits though, which go from …
… 'if we lose a few speakers, we're in the minority', to …
… 'if they lose a few, they go extinct!'
Can he really be surprised that someone felt it appropriate to modify his nom de plume from Mong-vras ('large mane') to Myngow Vras ('great lying-mouth'), so as to celebrate his truthfulness (or apparent lack thereof), rather than his matching hairiness (which rumour has it, if you'll pardon a gratuitously anecdotal argumentum ad personam tu quoque, lacks a little of the hirsute glory of his salad days, and is getting a tad scanty and moth-eaten in these his declining years)—or so we've heard. Sure, and it's only unsubstantiated gossipmongering, but as we say in Gaelic,
—::|::—
1— capture a sample of the population, count them, mark them and release them.
2— after they've had time to mingle with the rest of the population, catch some more.
3— tot up the proportion of marked individuals in this 2nd sample, do some simple arithmetic, and you've got your total population size.
Now, there's a pressing need for field studies on the Cornish-speaking population, so as to find out, amongst many other things, how many there are and what kind of Cornish they speak. This sort of data could be vital for planning the future of the Revival, and present information is largely anecdotal. However, with a modification of the ecologist's method we've just looked at, what we can do is explore the likely truth or falsity of some ot the statistical claims made by the Keministas about the supposedly 'huge' proportion of Cornish speakers who speak KK. The raw data is all anecdotal (on both sides), and our logic is not quite of the staunchest, but let's see what we find.
A qualitative estimate is given by Myngow Vras in his post (#2754) cited above, where he said,
"nearly everyone seriously interested in taking Cornish forward changed to KK 18 years ago. The only people who clung to Nance's UC were a few old fossils who wanted to stick to what they knew, whether it was historically correct or not …They have been peddeling [sic] their wares for years now, and nobody really wants to know."
In summary, KK is spoken by 'nearly everyone' except 'a few old fossils' and 'nobody really'.
Don'cha just love the way this pissant wee nyaff dismisses with contempt the likes of Nance, Caradar, Talek, Len Truran, Donald Rawe, George Pawley-White, Bryan Webb, Dick Gendall and the rest —great people who devote their lives to the Cornish Revival? And from him all they get is his contempt, just because they don't favour his chosen KK spelling? Ha! And as for 'historically correct'— oh, my aching ribs that such a slur should come from him, the most dyslexic of all KKists!
To corroborate this picture, we need some pretty overwhelming statistics. And we find them, too, in accounts given by two other prominent Kemynites. The figures we have are 92% from Tim Saunders, and 98% from 'torontosteve', as the proportion of KK speakers out of the entire population of Cornish speakers. These statements are on record in the archives of the CornishOrthography group.
This gives non-KK speakers a mere 8% or 2% of the total. A conservative under-estimate of the total number of non-KK speakers is at least 100 according to their organisers and teachers (it is likely to be higher than this, but let's see where these figures take us).
KK speakers = 92%, non-KK = 8%,
… gives us a total Cornish-speaking population = (100/8) x 100 = 1,250
…or, KK speakers = 98%, non-KK = 2%,
… gives us a total Cornish-speaking population = (100/2) x 100 = 5,000
Which means either:
(a) the number of Cornish speakers is considerably larger than anyone has dreamed,
… or …
(b) the Kemynistas' 'statistics' are fake.
Me, I'm plumping for (b), and for this being yet another example of the Big Lies and disinformation we've come to expect from that quarter.
Postscriptum 1:
'pietercharles' has provided us with some alternative statistics (#2710), where he says that KK "is used by everyone I know that speaks Cornish bar half a dozen people." Cranking this figure through our equation, we end up with this fascinating conclusion:
no. of 'known' non-KK speakers = 6
% of speakers using KK = 92% …or… 98%
therefore, total 'known' speakers of Cornish = (6/8) x 100 …or… (2/8) x 100
i.e. total 'known' speakers = 75 …or… 40 persons
Well, the '40–75' speakers this KKist's 'statistics' give us is a heck of a lot less than the '1,250–5,000' of them implied by the two KKists cited above. Of course, it may just mean that PC needs to get out and socialise a bit more, or perhaps that non-KK speakers tend to avoid him and his barbarous idiolect. But it still makes his figure of "6" simple disinformation, even if true. And we're supposed to trust what this lot say? Ha! They're revealed by their own words as being strangers to the truth, and as ones who can't even agree on what lies to tell!
Postscriptum 2:
Keith Bailey has offered us yet another set of 'statistics' (#787), saying that "the KK "faction" represents something between 60%-95% of serious Cornish users":
no. of non-KK speakers = 6
% of non-KK speakers = 40% to 5% (based on KB's figures)
therefore, total no. of 'serious' speakers of Cornish = 15 to 120 persons
Now, it could be that KB just sets such high standards for his Cornish that very few people qualify as 'serious', no matter which version of the language they use. But looking at the grave flaws in his own Cornish and English, this hypothesis only seems tenable if he sets much higher standards for others than he does for himself.
Or it could be that in his assessment of 'seriousness' he takes a neutral stance on other forms of Cornish, and passes equally impartial judgement on all. But his frequent ranting diatribes against all other forms of the language but the one he favours make this hypothesis seem pretty shaky as well. After all, 'old fossils', 'troublemakers' and 'devious lying little shit-bags' wouldn't merit any impartiality, would they?
As regards his numbers, this guy's got a science Ph.D, which really had to have some maths in it. So you know you he's got to be numerate, and you should be able to take his stats without sniggering. But ya gotta love his weaselly confidence limits though, which go from …
… 'if we lose a few speakers, we're in the minority', to …
… 'if they lose a few, they go extinct!'
Can he really be surprised that someone felt it appropriate to modify his nom de plume from Mong-vras ('large mane') to Myngow Vras ('great lying-mouth'), so as to celebrate his truthfulness (or apparent lack thereof), rather than his matching hairiness (which rumour has it, if you'll pardon a gratuitously anecdotal argumentum ad personam tu quoque, lacks a little of the hirsute glory of his salad days, and is getting a tad scanty and moth-eaten in these his declining years)—or so we've heard. Sure, and it's only unsubstantiated gossipmongering, but as we say in Gaelic,
ma's fìor e thugam, 's fìor e bhuam
… loosely translated:
If the truth is what I heard, then that's what I'm telling.
… loosely translated:
If the truth is what I heard, then that's what I'm telling.
—::|::—
Friday, 15 December 2006
'Modernist', 'Modern Cornish' (GanS 7)
This apparently innoccuous word has a troubled past and a confusingly disinformative present. Here we shall merely attempt to sketch out the various meanings the term has had, and show the current state of unclarity that the Kemynistas have brought about.
§a Late Cornish:
It was, so we're told, first used by the aficionados of Late Cornish for themselves, presumably on the basis that their form of the language deserved it, as it was the most recent of the revived varieties of the language in use. Sounds fair, and simple enough, thus:
§b Kernowek Kemyn:
Then the Kemyn® Putsch occurred around 1987, as described elsewhere in these pages, and things got a little more confused. The KK apparatchiks decided that they would like this term for their very own, so they simply declared (with typically unilateral autocracy) that henceforth the phrase belonged to them, and to them alone. The LC folks may not have been best pleased, but when faced with the force majeur sort of droit de seigneur kinda tactics used against them, their options were limited. So, once the arguing was over, it was still not too tricksy at that point:
§c Saunders' Private Patois:
Now the plot begins to thicken: along comes 'Ryz-vyl' (real name: Tim Saunders) with a new meaning for this poor, overworked piece of vocab. Initially, old "vile Ryz" uses the term with meaning #(2) to denote Kemyn, but this soon begins to pall, and he changes the meaning to denote a Cornish-Kemyn-Breton pidgin of his own devising, a strange miscegenated idiolect that no-one else uses, and which is referred to by some of its detractors as 'Saun-dreck' (with a wholly intentional bilingual double meaning). So, at this point, while meaning #(2) is still in use by others, he adds yet another area of meaning and confusion, and things just ain't as simple as what they used to be:
. . . while sometimes he seems to suggest that . . .
Envoi:
One notes that certain concepts which carry derogatory overtones are apt to have frequent name changes over time, in an attempt to shake off their shame-filled past, and move into a squeaky-clean brave new future. Examples of this include the names for devotees of certain …ah… unconventional sexual practices, as well as members of social and racial groups who feel they're looked down upon by Them. Raises the question, just what these Kemynistas and Saun-dreckers might be ashamed of, doesn't it?
§a Late Cornish:
It was, so we're told, first used by the aficionados of Late Cornish for themselves, presumably on the basis that their form of the language deserved it, as it was the most recent of the revived varieties of the language in use. Sounds fair, and simple enough, thus:
(1) Modern Cornish = Late Cornish.
§b Kernowek Kemyn:
Then the Kemyn® Putsch occurred around 1987, as described elsewhere in these pages, and things got a little more confused. The KK apparatchiks decided that they would like this term for their very own, so they simply declared (with typically unilateral autocracy) that henceforth the phrase belonged to them, and to them alone. The LC folks may not have been best pleased, but when faced with the force majeur sort of droit de seigneur kinda tactics used against them, their options were limited. So, once the arguing was over, it was still not too tricksy at that point:
(2) Modern Cornish = Kernowek Kemyn ≠ Late Cornish.
§c Saunders' Private Patois:
Now the plot begins to thicken: along comes 'Ryz-vyl' (real name: Tim Saunders) with a new meaning for this poor, overworked piece of vocab. Initially, old "vile Ryz" uses the term with meaning #(2) to denote Kemyn, but this soon begins to pall, and he changes the meaning to denote a Cornish-Kemyn-Breton pidgin of his own devising, a strange miscegenated idiolect that no-one else uses, and which is referred to by some of its detractors as 'Saun-dreck' (with a wholly intentional bilingual double meaning). So, at this point, while meaning #(2) is still in use by others, he adds yet another area of meaning and confusion, and things just ain't as simple as what they used to be:
(3) Modern Cornish = Saun-dreck ≠Kernowek Kemyn ≠ Late Cornish,
. . . while sometimes he seems to suggest that . . .
(2a) Modern Cornish = Kernowek Kemyn ≠ Saun-dreck ≠ Late Cornish.
And, at the same time of course, meanings (1) and (2) are still being used, just to add to the ambiguity!
And, at the same time of course, meanings (1) and (2) are still being used, just to add to the ambiguity!
Envoi:
One notes that certain concepts which carry derogatory overtones are apt to have frequent name changes over time, in an attempt to shake off their shame-filled past, and move into a squeaky-clean brave new future. Examples of this include the names for devotees of certain …ah… unconventional sexual practices, as well as members of social and racial groups who feel they're looked down upon by Them. Raises the question, just what these Kemynistas and Saun-dreckers might be ashamed of, doesn't it?
The 'SWF' revisited (GanS 7)
The level of deliberate obfuscation and disinformation connected with this phrase is even worse than with the 'Modern Cornish' one we considered elsewhere. Since we last looked at this acronym way back in GanS 2, a whole few weeks ago, things have changed somewhat rapidly. Gosh, who'd have thought that lexical change would be so fast in the mad-cap world of Cornish Orthography! (Any suggestions that An Dysledorer Geriattrys is living up to the nonce-spelling of his nom de plume will be sternly rebuffed!). As best as our remaining leetle grey cells can manage it, here's the current state of play (rest assured that, if it changes, we'll be back):
(1) The Single Written Form:
This is the original wording behind the 'SWF' acronym as coined, so we're told, for the present series of meetings with the Cornish Language Partnership, and other interested parties. It denotes a future, consensual form of the Cornish language which will be agreed upon after this period of discussion and negotiation. It may contain (or consist of) Kernowek Kemyn, or it may not. It may consist of a compromise blend of the other 3 forms of Cornish, or it may not. All is up for discussion, thus:
(2) The Standard Written Form:
Some supporters of KK are unsatisfied with the idea of democratic discussion of these issues, and have decided to return to disinformation to try and get what they want. They have deliberately conflated their own version of the SWF acronym (S = 'Standard) with the normal meaning of SWF (S = 'Single), and declared that Kemyn is the 'de facto Standard as it has over 90% of Cornish users'. Mind you, their figures are so dubious that they tend to be nearer to the 'damned lies' end of the spectrum than to the 'statistics' one! Thus, according to them, the 'SWF' (i.e. 'Standard' rather than 'Single' version') is Kemyn, and—as the 'SWF' ('Standard') already exists, there's no need for any of this discussion/negotiation/transparency/democracy nonsense, thus:
(3) The Saunders Written Form:
Recently, one of the correspondents to the CornishOrthography group, who goes by the pseudonym of 'Ryzvel' (aka Tim Saunders, in real life) seems to have added yet another layer of meaning to this phrase. As mentioned above, he advocates a strange version of Cornish that goes even further than Kernowek Kemyn does in importing Breton loanwords, calques and other features. His private 'Cornish' pidgin also has some ill-adapted ideas from the Breton system of spelling. The result is, too most people's eyes, grotesque, obscurantist and irrelevant: most people abandon 'private' languages at adolescence!
In some of his recent posts to the group, it seems as if he is advocating that this idiolect (known to its detractors as 'Saundrek' or 'Saun-dreck') should be adopted as the SWF. One can only wonder at his folie de grandeur! As Charles de Gaulle—never known for his overwhelming self-effacement—might have put it, "Le Cornouaillais, c'est moi!" ('Cornish—it's me!')), In other words:
Conclusion:
One notes the parallels in attitude from the Kemyn/Saunders camps towards both of the terms 'Modern Cornish' and the 'SWF'. There is evidence that this sort of behavious has manifested itself widely and consistently over the last 20 or so years (since KK first leapt to prominence) as a key part of its propaganda and disinformation tactics. Indeed, there are many tales of precisely this high-handed, self-serving, untruthful arrogance related by many followers of the other forms of the language (as well as by some users of KK itself). And there's not a few to be discerned within their own utterances, if you read closely what they've said.
We also note in passing the badmouthing that is currently being given by many of the Kemynistas on CornishOrthography to the Cornish Language Partnership, to the Commission, and to the current efforts to find a negotiated, compromise form of Cornish that most speakers can agree on as the best way forward for the Revival.
Significantly enough, it's only the Kemynous who are opposed to all of this, and some of their utterances show that they're seriously worried:
Without us, the Revival will die, it'll have its guts ripped out. We are the future—sans us - no future.
… but that's a topic for the next issue of the Gerva!
And anything that worries them has, almost by definition, to be good news for the future of the Cornish Language Revival. The old saw has it that 'those who live by the sword shall die by the sword', but in this case it's a little different:
And small truths (with a satirical twist!) is just what we try to give you. I suspect that we can look forward to some deliciously public squirming and ever more frantic and extravagant Big Lies and Doom-laden Prognostications, over the next few months and through the first part of 2007, as the writing on the wall for them looms ever more closely over the horizon, while they row themselves up the faecal creek without a paddle, and get hoist up a gum-tree by their own petard to enjoy their just desserts [don'cha just love mixed metaphors!]
(1) The Single Written Form:
This is the original wording behind the 'SWF' acronym as coined, so we're told, for the present series of meetings with the Cornish Language Partnership, and other interested parties. It denotes a future, consensual form of the Cornish language which will be agreed upon after this period of discussion and negotiation. It may contain (or consist of) Kernowek Kemyn, or it may not. It may consist of a compromise blend of the other 3 forms of Cornish, or it may not. All is up for discussion, thus:
(1) SWF ('Single') = ±Kemyn ±UC ± UCR ± LC ± LCR ± … etc.
(2) The Standard Written Form:
Some supporters of KK are unsatisfied with the idea of democratic discussion of these issues, and have decided to return to disinformation to try and get what they want. They have deliberately conflated their own version of the SWF acronym (S = 'Standard) with the normal meaning of SWF (S = 'Single), and declared that Kemyn is the 'de facto Standard as it has over 90% of Cornish users'. Mind you, their figures are so dubious that they tend to be nearer to the 'damned lies' end of the spectrum than to the 'statistics' one! Thus, according to them, the 'SWF' (i.e. 'Standard' rather than 'Single' version') is Kemyn, and—as the 'SWF' ('Standard') already exists, there's no need for any of this discussion/negotiation/transparency/democracy nonsense, thus:
(2) SWF ('Standard') = Kemyn
(3) The Saunders Written Form:
Recently, one of the correspondents to the CornishOrthography group, who goes by the pseudonym of 'Ryzvel' (aka Tim Saunders, in real life) seems to have added yet another layer of meaning to this phrase. As mentioned above, he advocates a strange version of Cornish that goes even further than Kernowek Kemyn does in importing Breton loanwords, calques and other features. His private 'Cornish' pidgin also has some ill-adapted ideas from the Breton system of spelling. The result is, too most people's eyes, grotesque, obscurantist and irrelevant: most people abandon 'private' languages at adolescence!
In some of his recent posts to the group, it seems as if he is advocating that this idiolect (known to its detractors as 'Saundrek' or 'Saun-dreck') should be adopted as the SWF. One can only wonder at his folie de grandeur! As Charles de Gaulle—never known for his overwhelming self-effacement—might have put it, "Le Cornouaillais, c'est moi!" ('Cornish—it's me!')), In other words:
(3) SWF ('Saunders') = Saun-dreck.
Conclusion:
One notes the parallels in attitude from the Kemyn/Saunders camps towards both of the terms 'Modern Cornish' and the 'SWF'. There is evidence that this sort of behavious has manifested itself widely and consistently over the last 20 or so years (since KK first leapt to prominence) as a key part of its propaganda and disinformation tactics. Indeed, there are many tales of precisely this high-handed, self-serving, untruthful arrogance related by many followers of the other forms of the language (as well as by some users of KK itself). And there's not a few to be discerned within their own utterances, if you read closely what they've said.
We also note in passing the badmouthing that is currently being given by many of the Kemynistas on CornishOrthography to the Cornish Language Partnership, to the Commission, and to the current efforts to find a negotiated, compromise form of Cornish that most speakers can agree on as the best way forward for the Revival.
Significantly enough, it's only the Kemynous who are opposed to all of this, and some of their utterances show that they're seriously worried:
Without us, the Revival will die, it'll have its guts ripped out. We are the future—sans us - no future.
Kemyn = Cornish, so…
NO KEMYN = NO CORNISH,
NO KEMYNISTAS = NO KEMYN = NO CORNISH,
and If WE don't get our hands on all that lovely grant money, and all that lovely power …
NO KEMYNISTAS = NO KEMYN = NO CORNISH,
and If WE don't get our hands on all that lovely grant money, and all that lovely power …
… but that's a topic for the next issue of the Gerva!
And anything that worries them has, almost by definition, to be good news for the future of the Cornish Language Revival. The old saw has it that 'those who live by the sword shall die by the sword', but in this case it's a little different:
Those who live by the Big Lie shall die by the small Truths.
And small truths (with a satirical twist!) is just what we try to give you. I suspect that we can look forward to some deliciously public squirming and ever more frantic and extravagant Big Lies and Doom-laden Prognostications, over the next few months and through the first part of 2007, as the writing on the wall for them looms ever more closely over the horizon, while they row themselves up the faecal creek without a paddle, and get hoist up a gum-tree by their own petard to enjoy their just desserts [don'cha just love mixed metaphors!]
Saturday, 9 December 2006
poetaster (GanS 6)
Scots, wee bit bardie, Kern. cragh-varth, Wel. crachfardh, gofardd, bardd is-raddol, Sc.Gael. bardan, Ir. Gael. fileoir, éigsin, Fr. poétereau, poétastre, Ger. Dichterling, Lat. poeta malus, Ital., Span., Portug. poetastro, Gr. stichoplókos, Neth. mindere dichter, Swed. versmakare, rimsmidare … there are further-flung examples to be found at answers.com.
Curiously enough, the Scottish 'bardie' also denotes a 'gelded cat', which may help to explain the scarcity of this species of poet in the Lowlands north of Hadrian's Wall, with William McGonagall being a celebrated exception:
Q: "What's worn under the Bardie's kilt?" A: Nothing … but why belabour the obviously absent?
Indeed, as this list shows, many other countries are infested with 'poetically challenged' rhymesters. However, we note with interest that Wales—in line with its hordes of famously out-of-tune and (alas!) émigrés tenors—appears to have three times more of them than just about anyone else. 'Gwlad y Gân', 'The Land of Song' indeed? 'Gwlad y Crachfeirdd', 'd be more apt, I fancy!! Ha!
Here in Corwall, the situation is no different than anywhere else (except our tenors do sing in tune —honest!), with two shining exceptions: Gerva an Scrynkyer and, of course, this blog! Their pages are generously strewn with the choice effusions of some of today's most quality bards: don't be fooled by the modest, self-effacing noms de poétastres assumed by some of these poetising powerhouses! As you'll have seen by now, An Barthyk Dysbardhek, An Barthyk Mur, An Cragh-varthyk Lym et al. would be good rôle models for any aspiring verse-monger who can't write. This haiku proves the point:
Curiously enough, the Scottish 'bardie' also denotes a 'gelded cat', which may help to explain the scarcity of this species of poet in the Lowlands north of Hadrian's Wall, with William McGonagall being a celebrated exception:
Q: "What's worn under the Bardie's kilt?" A: Nothing … but why belabour the obviously absent?
Indeed, as this list shows, many other countries are infested with 'poetically challenged' rhymesters. However, we note with interest that Wales—in line with its hordes of famously out-of-tune and (alas!) émigrés tenors—appears to have three times more of them than just about anyone else. 'Gwlad y Gân', 'The Land of Song' indeed? 'Gwlad y Crachfeirdd', 'd be more apt, I fancy!! Ha!
Here in Corwall, the situation is no different than anywhere else (except our tenors do sing in tune —honest!), with two shining exceptions: Gerva an Scrynkyer and, of course, this blog! Their pages are generously strewn with the choice effusions of some of today's most quality bards: don't be fooled by the modest, self-effacing noms de poétastres assumed by some of these poetising powerhouses! As you'll have seen by now, An Barthyk Dysbardhek, An Barthyk Mur, An Cragh-varthyk Lym et al. would be good rôle models for any aspiring verse-monger who can't write. This haiku proves the point:
If a Poetaster's writings • are adorned with Poetasticules,
Then female Poetessters • will just stick to Poetessticles.
Then female Poetessters • will just stick to Poetessticles.
'South o' the Border', The Bodmin Bardie. 2006.
The Big Lie (GanS 6)
A useful concept for spreading the One True Orthography (=KK®!), first coined and put to use by an Austrian corporal who suffered from a pathological dose of folie de grandeur. Niccoló Macchiavelli probably wishes he'd thought of the phrase first: ' La Bugia Grande' — 'Die Grosse Lüge' — though neither of those sounds quite as good as 'The Big Lie. The first just has to be an outsized form of pasta ("I'll have the Bugia bolognese, garçon, por favor, like"), while the second suggests an overinflated rubber gun. But both of these men would be proud of their modern acolytes, who have taken the Art of Mendacity to a whole new higher level of expertise altogether.
Examples of the Big Lie are littered thoughout these pages (see 'cuckoo', for instance), as this was one of the factors that brought Gerva an Scrynkyer (and this blog) into being in the first place. Disinformation is best fought with a dose of the plain unvarnished truth, we always say: La verité—c'est moi! as Charles de Gaulle might have put it. Curiously enough (though put it down to editorial bias, if you fancy), since we introduced the Sans-Serif-for-KK convention to these pages, most if not all of the BL's seem to have been set in that font. Anecdotally, of course.
Examples of the Big Lie are littered thoughout these pages (see 'cuckoo', for instance), as this was one of the factors that brought Gerva an Scrynkyer (and this blog) into being in the first place. Disinformation is best fought with a dose of the plain unvarnished truth, we always say: La verité—c'est moi! as Charles de Gaulle might have put it. Curiously enough (though put it down to editorial bias, if you fancy), since we introduced the Sans-Serif-for-KK convention to these pages, most if not all of the BL's seem to have been set in that font. Anecdotally, of course.
printing plates (GanS 6)
Back in the good ol' 1970s and '80s, this quaint technology was used to print a book. Curiously enough, the same technology could be used to prevent the printing of a book—by destroying the plates.
(Not that this was ever done, of course! Just to hinder other forms of Cornish than KK® or anything? A vile and baseless canard, I tell you!).
See 'obscurantist vocabulary', 'cuckoo'.
(Not that this was ever done, of course! Just to hinder other forms of Cornish than KK® or anything? A vile and baseless canard, I tell you!).
See 'obscurantist vocabulary', 'cuckoo'.
"devious lying little sh*t-bags" (GanS 6)
Although Kernowek Kemyn is best known perhaps for its faux-Cornish spelling, grammar, syntax, pronunciation and vocab ideas, it does occasionally add items to the repertoire of English. The present jocund offering is a colourfully playful reference to those recalcitrant recidivists who will insist on using historically attested forms of Cornish.
(They've also been luridly dubbed, 'Venom-Spitters', 'a few Living Old Fossils', the 'Wilhemine intelligentsia of the Mobutu-Heidegger school of linguistics', and the 'Bizarre anti-Cornish self-referential Bigots who inhabit a Tudor refectory culture'. And all these because they hold dissenting views about spelling -- we kid you not!)
This first charming phrase was in a personal communication that was inadvertently shared with the whole membership of CornishOrthography (and subsequently deleted). It offers a valuable insight into the degree of respect accorded by a prominent Kemynista towards his despised foes.
[Mong Vras, pers. comm. on CornishOrthography]
See also 'tw*t, twit, twot''and 'nonsense, nonsensical ramblings, load of cr*p'
(They've also been luridly dubbed, 'Venom-Spitters', 'a few Living Old Fossils', the 'Wilhemine intelligentsia of the Mobutu-Heidegger school of linguistics', and the 'Bizarre anti-Cornish self-referential Bigots who inhabit a Tudor refectory culture'. And all these because they hold dissenting views about spelling -- we kid you not!)
This first charming phrase was in a personal communication that was inadvertently shared with the whole membership of CornishOrthography (and subsequently deleted). It offers a valuable insight into the degree of respect accorded by a prominent Kemynista towards his despised foes.
[Mong Vras, pers. comm. on CornishOrthography]
See also 'tw*t, twit, twot''and 'nonsense, nonsensical ramblings, load of cr*p'
typographic style (GanS 6)
fig.1 A jocular typographical rebus.
We have already considered some of the æsthetic effects of typefaces (see 'typography) in an earlier article. You may also recall that we chose to use a traditional Serif font for the Traditionalists, and a Sans Serif for the other lot. It was gratifying to plough through the absolute deluge of responses that came trickling in via the ePost, and to see how many readers wanted to have a go at 'messing about with type' after what they'd read.
But a word of caution is necessary here. Some boisterous newly-minted tyros have called for the substitution of Comic Sans MS for the Sans font in this Gerva on the grounds that:
(1) Kemmyn is a bit of a joke, and
(2) it's seriously lacking a lot of the frills and furbelows that make Cornish so much fun, and
(3) Microsoft "make crap software and OSs that're full of bugs 'n'…stuff, just like KK" [sic!].
I'm afraid that, in the interests of editorial impartiality, we must resist these calls. The 1st point is gratuitously truthful, while the 2nd is a bit too recherché for yer average Cornish homme/femme dans la rue (with 'sans' being the Quylkynek for 'without', and with them not knowing their serifs from their swashes!). You typo tyros must get over your initial exuberance, and learn some restraint in the practice of this recondite craft! Anyway, we're using a sans font already, and if you can't see that, then you'd better reconfigure yer Web browser, hadn't you?! So there! As for the 3rd point, despite some obvious parallels, this sounds like a one-way ticket to getting sued by MS for mega-quids (M£)!
Also, we were not amused by cheap typographyck taunts like, 'Kemmynites are Dingbats who need Zapfing!', and 'See how they like the Impact after an Arial trajectory from our Trebuchet a few Times!!' (All jocularly set in the corresponding fonts, of course!)
However, the editors felt there was at least a modicum of T-shirt potential in the design concept shown above in fig.1.
A Bloggist's lot is not a happy one ...
Although our labours have found favour in some people's eyes, the poor satirists —woe is we!— are also targets for the (hurtful!) slings and arrows of some outraged satirees.
Our old chum 'Évets' (who featured in two previous articles) has found our blogging efforts to be quite without value; indeed, he "doesn't like it, not one little bit". In a recent post to the CornishOrthography group (#2905), he remarked, "Now if only people would spend as much energy on advancing the revival, as writing such worthless blogs."
Alas, the poor fellow felt so strongly about it that, when politely coaxed by the Moderator to describe what he himself had been doing 'to advance the Revival', or whether his own blogging efforts were more 'worthful' than our miserable travesty of a blog, he had to depart in confusion, calling back, 'Sorry [Moderator] for expressing my opinion, I will shut up and leave it for the nasty guys of UCR to keep this site. Good bye and good luck'.
Course, one has to point out that—as we stated up front on this blog—we all stick to UC, rather than UCR, so it looks like we ain't the 'nasty guys of UCR'. But as 'nasty guys' seem to be those who disagree with him, it looks like we may be the 'nasty guys of UC'. Shame that, really!
Now, although there's a touch of the argumentum e silentio fallacy about trying to interpret his lack of response, we may tentatively infer that he believes:
(a) KK 'lies, hypocrisy and disinformation' should go unchallenged,
(b) blind faith (in KK) is preferable to a healthy skepticism,
(c) 'undesirable litter' should be left where you find it, and
(d) those who disagree with him are 'nasty guys' [I can hardly believe he actually said that!]
Moreover, he apparently feels that he has made no efforts worth mentioning,
(e) neither in 'advancing the [language] Revival',
(f) nor in creating any 'worthful' blogs.
And if only one or two items on that little list were true, wouldn't you too be tempted to depart in silence?
Our old chum 'Évets' (who featured in two previous articles) has found our blogging efforts to be quite without value; indeed, he "doesn't like it, not one little bit". In a recent post to the CornishOrthography group (#2905), he remarked, "Now if only people would spend as much energy on advancing the revival, as writing such worthless blogs."
Alas, the poor fellow felt so strongly about it that, when politely coaxed by the Moderator to describe what he himself had been doing 'to advance the Revival', or whether his own blogging efforts were more 'worthful' than our miserable travesty of a blog, he had to depart in confusion, calling back, 'Sorry [Moderator] for expressing my opinion, I will shut up and leave it for the nasty guys of UCR to keep this site. Good bye and good luck'.
Nobody likes me, everybody hates me,
think I'll go and eat worms...
big fat juicy ones, little slimy skinny ones,
hope they don't have germs!
think I'll go and eat worms...
big fat juicy ones, little slimy skinny ones,
hope they don't have germs!
This isn't the first time he's promised to leave the group, but we hope it'll be the last; I'm sure we'll all try not to miss his presence too hard.
Course, one has to point out that—as we stated up front on this blog—we all stick to UC, rather than UCR, so it looks like we ain't the 'nasty guys of UCR'. But as 'nasty guys' seem to be those who disagree with him, it looks like we may be the 'nasty guys of UC'. Shame that, really!
Now, although there's a touch of the argumentum e silentio fallacy about trying to interpret his lack of response, we may tentatively infer that he believes:
(a) KK 'lies, hypocrisy and disinformation' should go unchallenged,
(b) blind faith (in KK) is preferable to a healthy skepticism,
(c) 'undesirable litter' should be left where you find it, and
(d) those who disagree with him are 'nasty guys' [I can hardly believe he actually said that!]
Moreover, he apparently feels that he has made no efforts worth mentioning,
(e) neither in 'advancing the [language] Revival',
(f) nor in creating any 'worthful' blogs.
And if only one or two items on that little list were true, wouldn't you too be tempted to depart in silence?
An Gannas (The Messenger)
This magazine of Cowethas an Yeth Kernewek was originally in UC until the organisation was suborned by the Kemynistas after the notorious Truro Bierkeller Putsch in the late '80s. It now has a remarkable editorial policy, whereby articles submitted in any other form of Cornish than Kemyn are 'translated' without the author's consent, and any syntax or vocabulary that is 'deprecated' is transmogrified with equally blithe high-handedness.
Of course, the omnipresence of KK between its covers just goes to 'prove' that '100% of our contributors are Kemynites'! Which does remind us of the persistent tales (which we referred to earlier) that some of the KK books on the market are equally 'un-kosher' when it comes to respecting copyright law. Gosh! —they do need to be careful, or someone might just shop them to the Copyright Cops!
This shabby policy is in sharp contrast to that of the more wholesome An Gowsva, the organ of Agan Tavas, where articles are published as submitted, or only modified with the author's agreement. Of course, they only accept historically-attested forms of Cornish, but at least authors using KK would get an honest refusal.
Of course, the omnipresence of KK between its covers just goes to 'prove' that '100% of our contributors are Kemynites'! Which does remind us of the persistent tales (which we referred to earlier) that some of the KK books on the market are equally 'un-kosher' when it comes to respecting copyright law. Gosh! —they do need to be careful, or someone might just shop them to the Copyright Cops!
This shabby policy is in sharp contrast to that of the more wholesome An Gowsva, the organ of Agan Tavas, where articles are published as submitted, or only modified with the author's agreement. Of course, they only accept historically-attested forms of Cornish, but at least authors using KK would get an honest refusal.
Friday, 8 December 2006
'Golok Dhyscryjyk' Blog Launched Today!
Stop Press! 2006-12-08
Today, the Blog opens its doors to the public at large, after an evaluation period in front of selected critics.
The aim is to cast a skeptical and satirical eye over the Cornish language revival, and to sound a warning note whenever we spy anything undesirable littering the landscape. This includes the lies, hypocrisies and disinformation handed out by those in charge of the Kernowek Kemyn clique, but is not confined exclusively to those.
But in addition to our role as skeptical debunkers, we've also enjoyed our work as satirists as well. We hope you might find your eyes opened by the first, and your funny bones tickled by the second.
To nail our colours to the mast, the authors of this blog all use Unified Cornish, but are perfectly receptive to all the other historically-attested forms, such as Late Cornish, Late C. Revised, and Unified C. Revised. When the Single Written Form is eventually decided upon, it's likely that we'll be receptive to that as well, although we'll probably still continue to use the U.C. we're familiar with.
What we reject utterly is Kernowek Kemyn and 'Saun-Dreck', and any other forms of 'Cornic' which are not historically attested. These we view as shoddy fakeries, invented by linguistic incompetents--a view shared by every university Celtic Studies department in the world. We believe that these idiolects will come in time to have the same half-forgotten status in Cornish as the various extinct 'fakeries' one can find in the English-speaking world; GB Shaw's Shavian orthography comes to mind, as an example of this (as does William Barnes' 19th-century Real English with its mock-Anglo-Saxon coinings like 'ungothroughsome' for 'impenetrable', 'folk-wain' for a 'bus', and 'life-lore' for 'biology').
Remember, Kernowek Kemyn -- fük yu!
Today, the Blog opens its doors to the public at large, after an evaluation period in front of selected critics.
The aim is to cast a skeptical and satirical eye over the Cornish language revival, and to sound a warning note whenever we spy anything undesirable littering the landscape. This includes the lies, hypocrisies and disinformation handed out by those in charge of the Kernowek Kemyn clique, but is not confined exclusively to those.
But in addition to our role as skeptical debunkers, we've also enjoyed our work as satirists as well. We hope you might find your eyes opened by the first, and your funny bones tickled by the second.
To nail our colours to the mast, the authors of this blog all use Unified Cornish, but are perfectly receptive to all the other historically-attested forms, such as Late Cornish, Late C. Revised, and Unified C. Revised. When the Single Written Form is eventually decided upon, it's likely that we'll be receptive to that as well, although we'll probably still continue to use the U.C. we're familiar with.
What we reject utterly is Kernowek Kemyn and 'Saun-Dreck', and any other forms of 'Cornic' which are not historically attested. These we view as shoddy fakeries, invented by linguistic incompetents--a view shared by every university Celtic Studies department in the world. We believe that these idiolects will come in time to have the same half-forgotten status in Cornish as the various extinct 'fakeries' one can find in the English-speaking world; GB Shaw's Shavian orthography comes to mind, as an example of this (as does William Barnes' 19th-century Real English with its mock-Anglo-Saxon coinings like 'ungothroughsome' for 'impenetrable', 'folk-wain' for a 'bus', and 'life-lore' for 'biology').
Remember, Kernowek Kemyn -- fük yu!
An Pyber Dyscryjyk, An Barthyk Dysbardhek, An Geriadorer Dyslettrys (and friends).
Thursday, 7 December 2006
The Ultimate Form of Cornish: K3 — Kernuewekk Kenpollekk Kemminn.
by An Peebur Discree-jikk, An Barthikk Disbarthekk, An Gariadorer Dislettrice et al.
Building on the remarkable work started by Dr. Djennedh Kordj, we boldly take her ideas for "Phonemic Cornish" (Kernuewekk Sonyeythekk) right into the twenty-first century—and beyond! Such "Cornish For The Future!!!" inevitably involves the use of computers, as She Herself has revealed to us in her widely (at least, outside scholastic circles) celebrated and revered studies on the Cornish language.
This new computer-readable form of the language shall be called Kernuewekk Kenpollekk Kemminn, or Kenpollekk or K3 for short. As we can see from the sample transcription below, its aesthetic impact on the eye is even more striking than that of bog-standard Kernuewekk Kemminn (K2, or 'Djennewekk' as some of its aficionados call it), which should ensure its ready acceptance by all progressive speakers of Cornish. Surely here we see the long sought-after Single Written Form, and one which is computer-compatible moreover—no small matter in this era of the Information Autobahn! We predict that K3 will take over the torch carried by Unified, Late and K2 Cornish before it, and lead the Language Revival forward into a Brave New Future!
Naturally, we feel that K3 should supersede those other forms of Cornish we were recommending in our earlier writings on KAK (Kernowek Amendys Kemyn) q.v.. They, like K2 before them, are now shown in their true light as mere passing phases of linguistic juvenilia: K3 is the real deal: Perfect Cornish—at last!
We note that DK's pioneering work was sufficient to gain her a Doctorate, and one that has been remarked on by her academic peers (at least, outside scholastic circles). It would seem only fitting that since we have so comprehensively completed the labours she herself started, so the three (or more) of us should be able likewise to bask in the glory of having those coveted letters after our names. It would invite invidious comparison were we to look towards Brittany for our vellum, so we thought of one of those convenient institutions in the American South, which can be so obliging for a 'fistful of dollars'. Now, is a D.Litt. (Uni. of Deadwood) more stylish than yer workaday PhD? . . . or maybe a D.Phil. (Little Big Horn Military Academy) has more bling factor . . . hmmm, wonder how much a Professorship would cost, or a 'Noble Prize' ?
We also note with envy, by the way, that the Great Reformer has been honoured by her German-speaking fellow Celticists with an admiring nickname. They have dubbed her 'Die Grösste Philologin aller Zeiten' [The Hugest Philologist of All Time], or Gröphaz* for short. This is in recognition both of her unique linguistical analyses, and of the way in which her work leapt into the limelight after the remarkable 1987 Truro Bierkeller Putsch, better known by its protagonists as Deth an Tavasow Felsys (The Day of the Forked Tongues) and, by its victims, as Deth an Keynow Gwenys (The Day of Stabbed Backs).
[*with apologies to Helmut F. Kaplan, Austrian Vegetariererphilosoph,
and any others who might happen to have borne this name]
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - -and any others who might happen to have borne this name]
There was a recent request by a member of the CornishOrthography group for recordings of varying speech realizations of Cornish. In response to that, we can do no better than have the trio An Cyber-Canoryon give us their Canu Plygain rendition of a famous poem (transcribed into Kenpollekk Kemminn), which was composed in UC by a lettered friend of ours in acknowledgement of the achievements of the Great Language Reformer Herself. The first of these two MP3 files (Arleeth an Yeythow (K3).mp3) in the 'Recordings' folder of the group features the voices of the PCs of Prof. Peebur Discree-jikk, Ms., Ph.D., Dr. Barthikk Disbarthekk, Ms., D.Litt., and Dr. Gariadorer Dislettrice, Ms., D.Phil.
Arleeth an Yeythow (K3).
Teer yeyth ragg an Gurnoo-yon in dann an nayff,
Een ragg an Arleeth doo war ee drone more ayff,
In vroaoa Voredor lay ma grow-weth an skayz.
Een yeyth th'aga rool-ya ol;
Een yeyth th'aga hafoss-ee;
Een yeyth th'aga dree ol, hagg in chewll-der aga hellmey.
In vroaoa Voredor lay ma grow-weth an skayz.
Teer yeyth ragg an Gurnoo-yon in dann an nayff,
Een ragg an Arleeth doo war ee drone more ayff,
In vroaoa Voredor lay ma grow-weth an skayz.
Een yeyth th'aga rool-ya ol;
Een yeyth th'aga hafoss-ee;
Een yeyth th'aga dree ol, hagg in chewll-der aga hellmey.
In vroaoa Voredor lay ma grow-weth an skayz.
For comparison, here is the original draft form of the poem in Unified Cornish, so that you can see what an improvement is made with the new K3. We have uploaded another MP3 file (Arluth an Yethow (UC).mp3) of one or our PCs reading this version as well, and making rather a hash of it. This proves how superior K3 is to UC, and you can hear the proof of that with your own ears!
Arluth an Yethow (UC).
Tyr yeth rag an Gernewyon yn-dan an nef,
Un rag an Arluth-du war y dron mor ef,
Y'n vro Vordor le may groweth an skes.
Un yeth dh'aga rewlya oll,
Un yeth dh'aga hafos-y,
Un yeth dh'aga dry oll hag y'n tewlder aga helmy,
Y'n vro Vordor le may groweth an skes.
Tyr yeth rag an Gernewyon yn-dan an nef,
Un rag an Arluth-du war y dron mor ef,
Y'n vro Vordor le may groweth an skes.
Un yeth dh'aga rewlya oll,
Un yeth dh'aga hafos-y,
Un yeth dh'aga dry oll hag y'n tewlder aga helmy,
Y'n vro Vordor le may groweth an skes.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
You might wish to copy these transcriptions onto your computer, and see for yourself how your text-to-speech program renders the two versions given below.
cat ( GanS 4)
The cat, Felis theomorphis tigris, is a sage beast, and the ultimate arbiter in matters linguistical, as those who have studied their pronouncements can attest. Who else but a pheline philologist could have validated the daring neo-Chomskian Deep-Grammatical hypothesis that "No! Stop it!" is actually semantically synonymous with "Yes! Go ahead!" ?
The Ancient Egyptians acknowledged this expertise in a temple inscription at Karnak dedicated to the cat-god, Bâst:
I shewed Ye Khâtt a page of Khê-m-myn,
Ask'd him what he mayde of it.
With fangèd smyle he said, 'It lackes
Authentickality a bit.
Kath-hotep II (ca. 1500 BC, trans. Parmiggiano, 1745)
Ask'd him what he mayde of it.
With fangèd smyle he said, 'It lackes
Authentickality a bit.
Kath-hotep II (ca. 1500 BC, trans. Parmiggiano, 1745)
Taking this ancient advice to heart, I asked the views of my own tabby Guru, over a shared glass of mulled glühwein one dour winter's evening, after we'd been perusing some kemynous websites together, out of idle curiosity. He was not amused:
My stomach is going like a Mexican
Bean, 'cos a fur-ball is stuck—
Or maybe I've swallowed a lexicon
Of Kemyn, or similar muck'.
Bonsaí MacTìgeir (2006 AD)
Bean, 'cos a fur-ball is stuck—
Or maybe I've swallowed a lexicon
Of Kemyn, or similar muck'.
Bonsaí MacTìgeir (2006 AD)
Monday, 4 December 2006
obscurantist vocabulary (see 'pond') (GanS 5)
Back in the 'good old days' (before it was republished in a memorial edition, and so became available to the 'common masses'), Morton Nance's 1938 Dictionary Gerlyver Noweth Kernewek ha Saswnek was rather a scarce (and costly) volume.
There were those of the KK® persuasion who— owning copies of the book themselves—sought to impress upon their copyless brethren and sistren the awe-inspiring incomprehensibility of their lexical erudition by using wee wordies that were only found in that dictionary. Alas (or so an ydhnyk byghan tells us), one uppity proletarian Prometheus obtained and studied a samizdat copy of the '38' and confounded one of the 'Olympians' at their own game.
This is a true story, although names have been veiled.
There were those of the KK® persuasion who— owning copies of the book themselves—sought to impress upon their copyless brethren and sistren the awe-inspiring incomprehensibility of their lexical erudition by using wee wordies that were only found in that dictionary. Alas (or so an ydhnyk byghan tells us), one uppity proletarian Prometheus obtained and studied a samizdat copy of the '38' and confounded one of the 'Olympians' at their own game.
This is a true story, although names have been veiled.
There was an elder Billy-goat, with coat of balding Brown,
Who thought to strut his lexicon in good old Saltash town.
With wordies rare and recondite, he was an awesome feller,
Until he met a lad who'd read the same Gerlyver. Well, er …
… When the two began to talk, the old 'un said, 'I ken
The sorts of word ye've never heard, nor never will again.
I am the most amazing of the modern Kernywekkers,
And I'll impress and overawe you rude, unlettered feckers!'
But the younger cousin Jack, though wet behind the ear,
Had read old Nance's early books, was sharp, and knew no fear.
He spoke the kind of Cornish that the codger couldn't twig, or
Follow, as his words got faster, more obscure …and bigger!
The more he spake, the more he lost this low-browed Kemmynista,
Whose Cornish comprehension was too poor to get the gist. A
Crowd had gathered round them, smiles and laughter did arise,
As this elder's bloated ego popped – ! – right before their eyes!
The moral of this story can't be very hard to reckon:
If you want to sound impressive, you must have the best 'lexecon',
Your intellect and trousers must be lacking perforation,
Or you'll expose your backside to public humiliation.
Who thought to strut his lexicon in good old Saltash town.
With wordies rare and recondite, he was an awesome feller,
Until he met a lad who'd read the same Gerlyver. Well, er …
… When the two began to talk, the old 'un said, 'I ken
The sorts of word ye've never heard, nor never will again.
I am the most amazing of the modern Kernywekkers,
And I'll impress and overawe you rude, unlettered feckers!'
But the younger cousin Jack, though wet behind the ear,
Had read old Nance's early books, was sharp, and knew no fear.
He spoke the kind of Cornish that the codger couldn't twig, or
Follow, as his words got faster, more obscure …and bigger!
The more he spake, the more he lost this low-browed Kemmynista,
Whose Cornish comprehension was too poor to get the gist. A
Crowd had gathered round them, smiles and laughter did arise,
As this elder's bloated ego popped – ! – right before their eyes!
The moral of this story can't be very hard to reckon:
If you want to sound impressive, you must have the best 'lexecon',
Your intellect and trousers must be lacking perforation,
Or you'll expose your backside to public humiliation.
'The Sharp Lad and the Billy-goat Brown', An Cragh-varthyk Lym, 2006.
to the tune of 'The Modern Major General,' Gilbert & Sullivan.
to the tune of 'The Modern Major General,' Gilbert & Sullivan.
Bretonek (Brezhoneg, Breton)
A brythonic language related to Cornish, suitable as a source of wadding to plug the gaps in Cornish.
Kembrek (Cymraeg, Welsh)
A brythonic language related to Cornish, and spoken by furriners; totally unsuitable as a source of anything for Cornish. For other similar sources 'not Fit for Purpose', see 'English', 'French', 'German', 'Latin', 'Greek', 'Dublin', 'Unified Cornish …' etc.
Kembrek (Cymraeg, Welsh)
A brythonic language related to Cornish, and spoken by furriners; totally unsuitable as a source of anything for Cornish. For other similar sources 'not Fit for Purpose', see 'English', 'French', 'German', 'Latin', 'Greek', 'Dublin', 'Unified Cornish …' etc.
typography (GanS 5)
The art of selecting and laying out type so as to harmonise the appearance of a book (or other printed matter) with its contents. The headers of the award-winning series, Gerva an Scrynkyer, have been designed by the celebrated Cornish typesetter An Olsetyer Dyspuyssant. And the quality of his designs certainly matches that of the lexicography within!! Another dictionary that fits this criterion—that appearance should match content—is George's noted Gerlyver Kres, whose typographical (and scholarly) solecisms are enough to make both grown men blench, and the editors of the Oxford Manual of Style contemplate hara-kiri.
Early, Middle, Late, Unified Cornish (GanS 5)
Early Cornish, Middle C., Late C., Revised L.C., Unified C., U.C. Revised
Forms of language about which there are a couple of contrasting views:
(1) The forms of our language which hold the repository of much of the Cornish people's cultural heritage, and which make up the soil we're all rooted in.
(2) Dead Brythonic dialects spoken by a few relict enthusiasts; distantly related to KK® —and totally unsuitable as a source of anything in today's 'Cornish for the Future'. Their 'literature' is sparse and/or irrelevant to the 21st 'Brave New' Century. Might as well speak Gaulish!
duckweed (Cornish: bos-heyjy)
A pretty little plant that, seemingly out of nothing, forms a verdant pelt on pond or puddle. Our Gaelic cousins know it as 'an lus-gun-mhàthair-gun-athair' (cornicé: an losowen hep mam na tas, the 'plant without mother nor father'), while we know it as 'duck-food'. A curiously rootless vegetable, whose Gaelic name (and natural history) show that it bears more than a passing resemblance to one inauthentic form of rootless 'Cornish', especially as its other name chances to be kellyn or ken lyn (anglicé: pond scum). c.f. 'Early Cornish…, §1, §2' .
Forms of language about which there are a couple of contrasting views:
(1) The forms of our language which hold the repository of much of the Cornish people's cultural heritage, and which make up the soil we're all rooted in.
(2) Dead Brythonic dialects spoken by a few relict enthusiasts; distantly related to KK® —and totally unsuitable as a source of anything in today's 'Cornish for the Future'. Their 'literature' is sparse and/or irrelevant to the 21st 'Brave New' Century. Might as well speak Gaulish!
duckweed (Cornish: bos-heyjy)
A pretty little plant that, seemingly out of nothing, forms a verdant pelt on pond or puddle. Our Gaelic cousins know it as 'an lus-gun-mhàthair-gun-athair' (cornicé: an losowen hep mam na tas, the 'plant without mother nor father'), while we know it as 'duck-food'. A curiously rootless vegetable, whose Gaelic name (and natural history) show that it bears more than a passing resemblance to one inauthentic form of rootless 'Cornish', especially as its other name chances to be kellyn or ken lyn (anglicé: pond scum). c.f. 'Early Cornish…, §1, §2' .
Friday, 1 December 2006
furriner (n. vulgar) (Gans 4)
c.f. 'Cornishman / Cornishwoman'
An acolyte of orthographical heterdoxy. A revocable condition (see Saws §3).
Cornishman / Cornishwoman
The opposite of a 'furriner' (q.v.). A revocable condition (see'Saws §2).
An acolyte of orthographical heterdoxy. A revocable condition (see Saws §3).
Cornishman / Cornishwoman
The opposite of a 'furriner' (q.v.). A revocable condition (see'Saws §2).
authentic, –ick, –yck, -icism, -icist, –icity, –icator (GanS 4)
(Cornicé: authentygion).
It, and its supporters, are also known by the Righteous variously as Tudor/mock-Tudor/neo-Tudor Cornish, mediaeval C., Heidegger-Mobutu Puritan scholars, anti-Cornish furrin bigots inhabiting Ivory-tower refectories. It is known by its aficionados variously as Unified Cornish, Unified Cornish Revised and Late Cornish Revised: UC, UCR, LCR.
These deluded souls fancy that, just because historically attested Cornish looks and sounds beautiful, and was good enough for our fore-fathers and -mothers, it's also good enough for us today. They also fondly imagine that Cornish speakers in the 21st Century might want to be able to read the language used in all those boring, fusty old books like Miracle Plays and the Bible! Why, they only have ONE novel in their depraved lingo! [sic! Ed.] (see 'Kernowek Kemyn', if you know what's good for you!)
Kernowek Kemyn ®, KK, KAK ( GanS 4)
Also widely known by its aficionados as Cornish, Modern Cornish, Phonemic Cornish, Kenewek, Djordjek, Cornish for the 21st Century, the SWF or Single Standard Written Form (q.v.), the Cornish Fit for Any Purpose, Invented Cornish, The Real Cornish that's Actually Much More Beautiful Than Its Creator's Hideous Dictionary, Cornic, Kernewek Esperantek, ramshackle idiolect, jerry-built pidgin, Cornish Fit For Dummies, etc.
This form of the Cornish language simply makes all other forms redundant. Case Closed! QED! Allegations that it is ugly, flawed, in decline, inconsistent despite its insistence on consistency, founded on one man's deluded (and derided, discredited, disproven) scholarship are utterly false! We shall keep a sternly dismissive visage towards the vile canards that KK swept to power in a Putsch at the Truro bierkeller in 1987, by means of a rigged meeting, lies and threats. 'Day of the Forked Tongues', indeed?! Ha!
But if we can get our hands on the allegators (or them canards!) we gonna show them the error of their ways!
Gnarly style! Grando tiempo!
It, and its supporters, are also known by the Righteous variously as Tudor/mock-Tudor/neo-Tudor Cornish, mediaeval C., Heidegger-Mobutu Puritan scholars, anti-Cornish furrin bigots inhabiting Ivory-tower refectories. It is known by its aficionados variously as Unified Cornish, Unified Cornish Revised and Late Cornish Revised: UC, UCR, LCR.
These deluded souls fancy that, just because historically attested Cornish looks and sounds beautiful, and was good enough for our fore-fathers and -mothers, it's also good enough for us today. They also fondly imagine that Cornish speakers in the 21st Century might want to be able to read the language used in all those boring, fusty old books like Miracle Plays and the Bible! Why, they only have ONE novel in their depraved lingo! [sic! Ed.] (see 'Kernowek Kemyn', if you know what's good for you!)
Kernowek Kemyn ®, KK, KAK ( GanS 4)
Also widely known by its aficionados as Cornish, Modern Cornish, Phonemic Cornish, Kenewek, Djordjek, Cornish for the 21st Century, the SWF or Single Standard Written Form (q.v.), the Cornish Fit for Any Purpose, Invented Cornish, The Real Cornish that's Actually Much More Beautiful Than Its Creator's Hideous Dictionary, Cornic, Kernewek Esperantek, ramshackle idiolect, jerry-built pidgin, Cornish Fit For Dummies, etc.
This form of the Cornish language simply makes all other forms redundant. Case Closed! QED! Allegations that it is ugly, flawed, in decline, inconsistent despite its insistence on consistency, founded on one man's deluded (and derided, discredited, disproven) scholarship are utterly false! We shall keep a sternly dismissive visage towards the vile canards that KK swept to power in a Putsch at the Truro bierkeller in 1987, by means of a rigged meeting, lies and threats. 'Day of the Forked Tongues', indeed?! Ha!
But if we can get our hands on the allegators (or them canards!) we gonna show them the error of their ways!
Gnarly style! Grando tiempo!
Byth an knavys, kepar ha den
Yntra ky ha golowbren!
[Whew! Boy! Am I glad the name (and/or sex) on me birth certificate don't quite match me nom de guerre, ah... plume! I too might be hounded out of Cornwall, with hate mail, overturned dustbins and anonyomous threatening phone calls 'ar hyd y nos'! Ed.] Yntra ky ha golowbren!
copyright law ( GanS 4)
A set of pettyfogging restrictions erected by the narrow-minded and the envious to impede the growth of the Kernowek Kemyn® Korpus of published material. However, because the Kause is so noble, they may be justly ignored by the faithful on their Holy Krusade.
As a Kemmynista of my acquaintance put it,
"Books that ain't in KK® are a priori in an inferior form of language altogether, whatever tongue they're written in. When we take loads of books and translate them into KK®, we're doing the authors, the reading public and the 'copyright holders' a big favour. It's ridiculous to suppose that we have to either ask permission for this charitable work, or to make crass monetary payments for it either. The law's for the impedance of wise men, and the obedience of fools, isn't it?"
He certainly must be right, as KK® has never yet found a court in the land that dared to stand in the way of their inevitable march of progress.
plagiarism, see 'copyright law'.
royalty payments, see 'copyright law'.
creative writing, original writing, see 'copyright law'.
author's income, see 'copyright law'.
National Intellectual Property (IP) Crime Group, see 'copyright law', 'Police & Trading Standards'.
Contact details: UK Patent Office at www.patent.gov.uk/crime.htm, tel: 0845 9 500 505, fax: +44 (0) 1633 813600, e-mail: enquiries@patent.gov.uk.
As a Kemmynista of my acquaintance put it,
"Books that ain't in KK® are a priori in an inferior form of language altogether, whatever tongue they're written in. When we take loads of books and translate them into KK®, we're doing the authors, the reading public and the 'copyright holders' a big favour. It's ridiculous to suppose that we have to either ask permission for this charitable work, or to make crass monetary payments for it either. The law's for the impedance of wise men, and the obedience of fools, isn't it?"
He certainly must be right, as KK® has never yet found a court in the land that dared to stand in the way of their inevitable march of progress.
plagiarism, see 'copyright law'.
royalty payments, see 'copyright law'.
creative writing, original writing, see 'copyright law'.
author's income, see 'copyright law'.
National Intellectual Property (IP) Crime Group, see 'copyright law', 'Police & Trading Standards'.
Contact details: UK Patent Office at www.patent.gov.uk/crime.htm, tel: 0845 9 500 505, fax: +44 (0) 1633 813600, e-mail: enquiries@patent.gov.uk.
ego ( GanS 4)
an abnormally enlarged organ found in those who have a pathological interest in themselves, rather than in me. The inflammation may be exacerbated by an over-indulgence in inept orthography.
tw•t, twit, twot (n. vulgar) ( GanS 4)
Those canting feckers who speak the wrong kinda Cornish—and who use polysyllabic utterances (i.e. 'big words') to lull my peg!
The species is, unfortunately, not rare: a look in the mirror will confirm that tw•ttery is not in such short supply that it's confined solely to the second and third persons.
[The author would like to extend his thanks to a Loyal Reader, Mr. Évets, whose frequent, laconic tw•tteries suggested this entry in the magnum opus].
nonsense, nonsensical rambling, load of cr*p (n., n.phr. vulgar)
Some of the terms by which the unlettered, the ineloquent and the ignorant express their appreciation of those who lack these virtues. Alas,
[Thanks again to my Loyal (North American) Reader for his unwitting, not to say witless, contributions!]
The species is, unfortunately, not rare: a look in the mirror will confirm that tw•ttery is not in such short supply that it's confined solely to the second and third persons.
[The author would like to extend his thanks to a Loyal Reader, Mr. Évets, whose frequent, laconic tw•tteries suggested this entry in the magnum opus].
nonsense, nonsensical rambling, load of cr*p (n., n.phr. vulgar)
Some of the terms by which the unlettered, the ineloquent and the ignorant express their appreciation of those who lack these virtues. Alas,
Their meagre minds may blind them to
The simple thought that 'sense'
May be a thing perceived by all,
Except the really dense.
'Bro Ker', An Barthyk Dysbardhek
As the old saw has it, 'In the kingdom of the dumb, the one I'd twit is king'.The simple thought that 'sense'
May be a thing perceived by all,
Except the really dense.
'Bro Ker', An Barthyk Dysbardhek
[Thanks again to my Loyal (North American) Reader for his unwitting, not to say witless, contributions!]
Thursday, 30 November 2006
New Miracle Play Discovery?!
The following article from Proc.Ker.Inst.(10.06) may be of interest.
MS find in late C20 Plymouth midden.
A recently discovered manuscript suggests that Kernowek Kemyn may be historically attested earlier than previous studies have allowed. Using the latest coprochronological methodology, we can now trace KK back to 1984.04.01 (±0.001yr), thus making this year and day doubly auspicious.
This incomplete palimpsest (Ll/g.Gen.Cym. MS. 2.71828/3.14159/GUM) has been tentatively identified as a fragment of a late 20th-Century work, which contains a portion of the previously unknown miracle play 'Bÿwñànz Cê[ñn]'. It is interesting to note that, even at this early stage in the self-styled 'Blessed One's' (B.O.) life, he and his teachings were evidently finding their natural level in the societal matrix of his times.
Tantalisingly enough, it may be that the episode described below is his rumoured, but previously undocumented, 'Road to Damn! Arse! Cuss!' epiphany, in which the B.O. was granted, after a surfeit of bad scrumpy, his miraculously inspired vision of Kemyn. Was it not, indeed, this very epiphanic vision that encouraged his followers to evangelise his teachings with all the humour of a Holy Hangover, and to smite the infidel, with so many colourfully worded invocations?
It may also represent the earliest known hagiography of Sen Hogh (often conflated with Sen Pol), who initially rejected the teachings of the B.O., before becoming one of His most zealous acolytes, and the patron saint and rôle model of many of his followers.
Unfortunately, the subsequent scene is almost entirely missing. What little has been preserved suggests it may have described the Advent of the Archangel Moronic, bearing the Gospel of Kemyn engraved on tablets of gold, one of the central tenets adhered to by the faithful.
Even with the latest forensic techniques, some of the text is unclear, and the following translation cannot be considered as either definitive or complete. Reconstructed and undeciphered portions of the text are indicated with ellipses or square brackets.
† 'kumijn'= kemyn? 'Kemyn' may be a flawed transliteration.
Editor's Note:
Despite the incomplete status of current studies of this fragment, the editors felt that some urgency was attached to its publication, in order to be assured of academic priority and for reasons of public security. There have been persistent rumours that the militant /dj/ihadist wing of Al Quaesva were preparing an unauthorised anarchist edition of the 'Life of Cê[nn]', in an attempt to blow up their own sense of self esteem, and cause as much collateral damage as possible.
MS find in late C20 Plymouth midden.
A recently discovered manuscript suggests that Kernowek Kemyn may be historically attested earlier than previous studies have allowed. Using the latest coprochronological methodology, we can now trace KK back to 1984.04.01 (±0.001yr), thus making this year and day doubly auspicious.
This incomplete palimpsest (Ll/g.Gen.Cym. MS. 2.71828/3.14159/GUM) has been tentatively identified as a fragment of a late 20th-Century work, which contains a portion of the previously unknown miracle play 'Bÿwñànz Cê[ñn]'. It is interesting to note that, even at this early stage in the self-styled 'Blessed One's' (B.O.) life, he and his teachings were evidently finding their natural level in the societal matrix of his times.
Tantalisingly enough, it may be that the episode described below is his rumoured, but previously undocumented, 'Road to Damn! Arse! Cuss!' epiphany, in which the B.O. was granted, after a surfeit of bad scrumpy, his miraculously inspired vision of Kemyn. Was it not, indeed, this very epiphanic vision that encouraged his followers to evangelise his teachings with all the humour of a Holy Hangover, and to smite the infidel, with so many colourfully worded invocations?
It may also represent the earliest known hagiography of Sen Hogh (often conflated with Sen Pol), who initially rejected the teachings of the B.O., before becoming one of His most zealous acolytes, and the patron saint and rôle model of many of his followers.
Unfortunately, the subsequent scene is almost entirely missing. What little has been preserved suggests it may have described the Advent of the Archangel Moronic, bearing the Gospel of Kemyn engraved on tablets of gold, one of the central tenets adhered to by the faithful.
Even with the latest forensic techniques, some of the text is unclear, and the following translation cannot be considered as either definitive or complete. Reconstructed and undeciphered portions of the text are indicated with ellipses or square brackets.
— — — — — — — — — — —
The Life of Cê[ñn]*
It was early [ … ] December, as near as I remember,
I was walking down the street in drunken pride.
No one was I disturbing,
As I lay down by the curbing,
When a pig came up and sat down by My side.
As I lay [ … ] in the gutter, thinking thoughts I could not utter,
A lady passing by was heard to say,
You can tell those who speak [Kumijn]†
By the company that they slum in,
And with that the pig got up and walked away.
Then, Lo!, came forth Great Mo[ …]
Ro [ … ] ns [ … ]
[ … … ]
— — — — — — — — — — —
* 'Cê[ñn]'= scum? ringworm? wormtongue? Problematical to gloss, but 'Cê[ñn]' is a possible scribal error.The Life of Cê[ñn]*
It was early [ … ] December, as near as I remember,
I was walking down the street in drunken pride.
No one was I disturbing,
As I lay down by the curbing,
When a pig came up and sat down by My side.
As I lay [ … ] in the gutter, thinking thoughts I could not utter,
A lady passing by was heard to say,
You can tell those who speak [Kumijn]†
By the company that they slum in,
And with that the pig got up and walked away.
Then, Lo!, came forth Great Mo[ …]
Ro [ … ] ns [ … ]
[ … … ]
— — — — — — — — — — —
† 'kumijn'= kemyn? 'Kemyn' may be a flawed transliteration.
Editor's Note:
Despite the incomplete status of current studies of this fragment, the editors felt that some urgency was attached to its publication, in order to be assured of academic priority and for reasons of public security. There have been persistent rumours that the militant /dj/ihadist wing of Al Quaesva were preparing an unauthorised anarchist edition of the 'Life of Cê[nn]', in an attempt to blow up their own sense of self esteem, and cause as much collateral damage as possible.
pond (GanS 3)
An aquatic enclosure of diminutive dimensions which allows a small tiddler to indulge his/her folie de grandeur and dream of whaledom. Examples include the Chair of the Antarctic Ice-cream Commission, and, of course, the Cornish Language Revival (see Kernowek Kemyn: The Jacobin Years by Ms. Djennedh Kordj [1st edn. Truro, 1987]).
poetry (GanS 3)
fig.1 Fancy fontwork is symptomatic of 'Poetry'.
A special form of language used to convey profound thoughts—those which mere prose could ne'er hope to delineate. The present author's Gerva an Scrynkyer contains many outstanding specimens of the species (and one lives in humble hope of the Arghdrewyth's summons to his sacred kelly-wyk!).
Some of the characteristic symptoms of a 'poem':
• lines contain a matching —or contrasting— number of syllables: dum-ti dum-ti diddle-ee…
• the terminal syllables on successive lines cunningly form a regular pattern of sound: –ooh –aah –ooh –aah,
• the pages display more than the normal quota both of unused paper and of fancy fonts (as shown above in fig.1).
• the chosen vocabulary contains more than the normal quota of words that require the help of your dictionary/thesaurus to decipher, as the englyn above has clearly demonstrated.
• the words that don't need the dictionary don't mean what you think they ought to. This is known as 'symbolism' or 'allusion'. For example, in the verse above, the word 'font' superficially refers to a style of lettering, while the underlying allusive leit motif evokes the fount of bardic éclaircissement from which the poet has quaffed a deep, inspirational draught.
• the bard knows more fancy words to do with poetry than you do. If you can score more than 3/4 on the following, yer in with a shout at this malarkey yerself:
Q.(1) What is the cure for acute prosopopoeia?
Q.(2) Do the Cornish sit on an Esethvos Kernow?
Q.(3) Does enjambement feature in ballet dancing or the Kama Sutra?
Q.(4) Is Pyrrhic foot treatable with over-the-counter medication?
However, these guidelines are only true for yer workaday, run-of-the-mill poetry; Advanced Poetry doesn't necessarily do any of the above, and can only be reliably identified by asking an Expert, who will tell you whether it's poetry, or whether it's dreck. Furthermore, the popularity of a poem is a mark of its quality: if lots of people read it, then it's mere doggerel, and beneath contempt. The fewer folk read it, the better it is --which leads us to the startling conclusion that the Best Poetry is read by no-one at all.
Doctorate of Philosophy (Ph.D) (GanS 3)
A degree that --when other people have one-- is imbued with overweening delusions of superiority, especially if they speak the wrong kind of Cornish, and extra especially if it's also been awarded by a School of Celtic Studies. It is quite distinct from one's own more worthy sheepskin (since all the best people get a Lower Second, don'cha know!)
Saws, Sawses (English, cf. 'furriner') (GanS 3)
This strange race comes in 3 tribes who appear to vary widely in their habits and behaviour:
(1) The numerous, basic but irrelevant 'Saws(es) sempel':
Ones who know nothing of Cornwall and its language, and care even less. Members of the migratory 'Emmet' cohorts of this tribe of Sawson are useful to the natives, however, as a source of seasonal income:
Ones who use a depraved form of Cornish that I don't. These contemptible furriners have no place in the language Revival movement, especially if they're educated, and extra especially if they have more academic letters after their name than I do.
Some naturalised members of this tribe used to be Cornish quislings who wilfully embraced the wrong form of Kernewek, and were therefore stripped of their Cornish citizenship and sternly hounded out of the Duchy. As the old saw has it,
(3) The wise & civilised 'Saws(es) skyansek'
Ones who use the right form of Cornish, just like I do. These worthy souls may be granted honorary Cornish citizenship, a Cornified name on their birth certificate, and even a revised birth-place on God's own side of the Tamar.
Curiously enough, this tri-tribal division is found with each of the divers other races in Cornwall, including Manx, Masai, Mongols, Magyars, Georgians … and even the Cornish themselves.
(1) The numerous, basic but irrelevant 'Saws(es) sempel':
Ones who know nothing of Cornwall and its language, and care even less. Members of the migratory 'Emmet' cohorts of this tribe of Sawson are useful to the natives, however, as a source of seasonal income:
Saws sempel came down like a sheep on the fold,
And his pockets were gleaming with silver and gold;
And the fleecing and shearing was wondrous to do,
While the blue wave rolled nightly from Mousehole to Looe.
And his pockets were gleaming with silver and gold;
And the fleecing and shearing was wondrous to do,
While the blue wave rolled nightly from Mousehole to Looe.
Arluth Byr-on (1788–1824)
(2) The horrible 'Saws(es) scruthus':Ones who use a depraved form of Cornish that I don't. These contemptible furriners have no place in the language Revival movement, especially if they're educated, and extra especially if they have more academic letters after their name than I do.
Some naturalised members of this tribe used to be Cornish quislings who wilfully embraced the wrong form of Kernewek, and were therefore stripped of their Cornish citizenship and sternly hounded out of the Duchy. As the old saw has it,
Crampedhen hep oyow terrys, ny yller kegy an cok!
(3) The wise & civilised 'Saws(es) skyansek'
Ones who use the right form of Cornish, just like I do. These worthy souls may be granted honorary Cornish citizenship, a Cornified name on their birth certificate, and even a revised birth-place on God's own side of the Tamar.
Curiously enough, this tri-tribal division is found with each of the divers other races in Cornwall, including Manx, Masai, Mongols, Magyars, Georgians … and even the Cornish themselves.
Wednesday, 29 November 2006
Kernowek Amendys Kemyn (KAK):—
A Modest Proposal for the Inevitable Kemyn Revolution.
by
An Pyber Dyscryjyk.
by
An Pyber Dyscryjyk.
One aspect of the current orthographical dispute within the Cornish-speaking community has not yet, apparently, been addressed: the numerical disparity between 3 deprecated forms of Cornish on the one hand, and only 1 form of Kemyn on the other.
Let us consider the status quo in more detail. On the 'historically attested' side, we have 3 contenders (Unified, Late Revised and Unified Revised) who seem to find each other's company congenial. These deviants on the 'Dark Side of the Force' are variously known as the 'Venom-Spitters', the 'Living Fossils' or the 'Bizarre anti-Cornish self-referential Bigots'. Some Marxists even deprecate them as the 'Wilhelmine Intelligentsia' (although Kaiser Wilhelm's exact rôle in the Cornish language revival is unspecified) who are, somewhat anachronistically, 'stuck in a 15th Century refectory'!
On the other 'innovative' side, by contrast, in stern and noble isolation, we have the Kernowek Kemyn clan. As we shall see, it should more accurately be termed Kernowek Kemyn (Bog-standard). On this side we have the followers of 'Phonemic Cornish' 'Modern Cornish', or '21st Century Cornish' as it is sometimes tautologically known. They rightly refuse to have anything to do with the old-fashioned, out-of-date written forms of the language used by our poor benighted ancestors: we should take notice of their antiquated ideas just because THEY were 'native speakers'? Preposterous!
The good news is that this 'Side of the Angels' has, by its own modest under-estimation, between 90% and 98% of Cornish speakers as its disciples. The bad news is that KK(B.S.) is outnumbered by THREE debased forms of the language. There is no reason, however, that we need to tolerate this inequity by restricting ourselves to merely 1 system of KK: while Djordj et al's arguments have had a gratifyingly divisive effect on the Cornish-speaking community, they appear to have lacked the resoluteness to take their ideas through to the logical, final resolution.
We propose a simple answer to this dilemma: Kernowek Amendys Kemyn (KAK). And, to anticipate the inevitable schisms such a proposal will bring to the more fractious denizens of the Cornish-speaking world, KAK is designed to be schismatic from the outset, with 3 recommended forms, and multiple further optional forms. We are, as the Conservative Party likes to say, a broad 'church' (not for us the narrow confines of a Chy Byghan!) and all are welcome to KAK within our walls. We are so all-inclusive that even the Bog-Standard form of Kernowek Kemyn is KAK. Indeed, in honour of its achievements as the 'father' of KAK, KK(B.S.) deserves to be re-designated as KAK(B.S.).
The aim of KAK: that this process of 'linguistic balkanisation' be extended so as to reduce the number of individuals using each version of Cornish to such a degree that no further schism will be likely or even possible: 'chacun à son propre idiolecte' is one of our mottos. Indeed, it should also reduce the total number of individuals using any version of Cornish, thereby building on the promising initial ground-work started by the founders of KK(B.S.) in the 1980s.
::::: The Recommended Forms of KAK :::::
1. KAK(i.t.a.) - http://www.itafoundation.org/index.html
The Initial Teaching Alphabet was a bold scheme, intended to facilitate children learning to read English. It was based on the normal English alphabet, with extra glyphs to cover all the phonemes in standard English. Although this scheme was a failure in England, and was rejected with derision by the arrogant Welsh, that should not deter us from adopting it on this side of the Tamar. Indeed, it should be ideally Fit for the Purpose of teaching the linguistic ingénues who make up the majority of those wishing to learn Cornish.
Traditionalists might prefer to base their KAK on Truespel, which uses the normal alphabet and was the basis for i.t.a. (http://victorian.fortunecity.com/vangogh/555/Spell/truespel-1.html).
2. KAK(George B.S.) - http://www.shawalphabet.com/index1.html
George Bernard Shaw devised a phonetic writing system for English with some 58 symbols, which owe little or nothing to the conventional alphabetical glyphs. The Grand Old Man's scheme deserves the chance to stand alongside the work of that other great Djordj: Awenyth Kernow, or The 'Cornish Genius', as he prefers to be known.
3. KAKakana - http://www.omniglot.com/writing/japanese_katakana.htm
Katakana, the Japanese syllabary, will not only make Cornish look exotically different, its mandatory system of /consonant+vowel/ will have a novel effect on its pronunciation as well:
un pynta coref ha hogen whath, Wella, mar plek
...or... /kemin yu kaku fiku, nan desu ka?/ .
Its restricted range of consonants will render moot any lingering embarassment about /tj/, /dj/
::::: Optional Forms of KAK :::::
- Other made-up alphabets that may be attractive include: Benjamin Franklin's 'Phonetic Alphabet', International Phonetic Alphabet, John Malone's 'Unifon' and Alexander Melville Bell's 'Visible Speech'.
- Scots Gaelic: this language is much admired for the precision and elegance of its orthography, and will make KAK(Gàidhlig) easier for Scots Gaels to learn. This Fitness For Purpose should be a major attraction for Cornish classes in the Outer Hebrides and Nova Scotia. For those other ausländer-Gaels whose envy of the Scottish orthography prevents them from fully appreciating its virtues, the deprecated KAK(Gaeilge) and KAK(Gaelg) forms would be feasible --if lesser-- versions that the Irish and Manx might care to consider.
- For those who would prefer a more Brythonomorphic orthography (perhaps because their style of Cornish contains so many Welsh and Breton loan-words and calques), we suggest KAK(Cymraeg), with possible broad subdivisions into KAK(Cymraeg llenyddol), KAK(Cymraeg / Gogs), KAK(Cymraeg / Hwntws) and KAK(Cymraeg / Saeson), the latter having all the difficult phonemes removed (/ll/ -> /ffl/, /ch/ -> /k/ etc.). KAK(Breizh) would be able to boast several similar subdivisions as well, and would appeal to those who want to speak Cornish wiz a French accent. Unfortunately, KAK(Breizh) would be largely redundant as KK(B.S.) has already implemented this hybrid.
- For brythonocentricists of a more antiquarian bent, KAK(Gaulish), KAK(Galician), KAK(Celtiberian) and KAK(Ogham) might be worth exploring.
- For those long, Winter's nights, nothing could be better suited than KAK(Inuktitut), especially as there is now a keyboard driver for it, thanks to the indefatigable 'Map Bynary'.
::::: Deprecated Forms of KAK :::::
- As a written medium for Cornish, we deprecate as frivolous Tolkien's Elvish 'Tengwar' runes and Star Trek's Klingon (along with Andorian, Bajoran, Borg, Cardassian and Ferengi), but others may disagree, particularly those individuals and organisations who favour the more fictional forms of Cornish.
- A less indo-europeanocentric sprachgefuehl would be found in KAK(Euskadi), with its variant offshoot KAK(ETA) for those who prefer the less rational forms of linguistic debate.
- Transatlantic speakers with deplorable tastes might hanker for KAK(Dreck), based on an expressive americanism denoting 'trash, especially inferior merchandise', derived from the German and Yiddish word for 'excrement' (http://www.yourdictionary.com/ahd/d/d0386300.html). Coprophiles on this side of the 'Pond' might prefer the idiolect known as KAK(Saun Dreck) that one encounters occasionally.
::::: Conclusion :::::
However, these are merely a few of the many possibilities for KAK; the OmniGlot site (http://www.omniglot.com/index.htm) gives details of many orthographical systems from around the world, including most of those mentioned above. Tocharian, Lepcha and Cherokee might be especially attractive possiblities.
With so many forms of KAK behind us, we can look forward to the ultimate World KAK Revolution, as the deviant running dogs of the other recidivist forms of 'Cornish' collapse under the weight of their own internal inconsistencies, as foretold by the prophet Djordj (dialectical blessings be upon him!).
::::: KAK longa, vita brevis! ::::: KAK yn dha anow! ::::: KAK super omnia! :::::
::::: KAK mit uns! ::::: KAK mar plek! :::::
::::: KAK warnan! :::::
::::: KAK mit uns! ::::: KAK mar plek! :::::
::::: KAK warnan! :::::
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